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Old 04-04-2012, 10:03 PM   #631
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A tourist walked into a Atlantic City curio/antique shop.

After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze
Statue of a rat.

It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it
anyway.

He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?'

The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.'

The tourist gave the owner his $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story.' As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the sewers and begun following him.

This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster,
but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds
and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.

He increased his speed and ran on towards the beach, as he ran, he
looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS.

They were running faster and faster.

By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze Rat
far out into the water. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.

The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said: 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'

'No,' said the tourist, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim Fundamentalist Cleric, a couple of illegal immigrants, a NY Yankees fan,
and anything French!'

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Old 04-05-2012, 02:01 AM   #632
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"I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player,I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, "three wood." I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard "three wood."I looked down and there was a frog at the corner of the tee box, and he was telling me to use my three wood. I thought it was stupid but I was playing so badly that I thought nothing could hurt me so I took out my three wood. It was a long par four, and I hit the ball straight 250 yards with that three wood. Since the frog seemed to be lucky I picked him up and took him along with me. At the next whole he told me to use my five iron. It was a par three and I got my first hole in one ever. I made a least a birdie on all the rest of the holes, and all I had to do was listen to that frog."

That night I took the frog to the casino in my hotel. We played Roulette. I put my money where the frog said and won on every spin of the wheel. After that I was tired so I went up to bed. I took the frog out of my pocket and put it on the dresser. Suddenly it looked at me and said, "kiss me." Now I wasn't about to kiss a frog, but he said it again. So I kissed the frog and he turned into the most beautiful fourteen year old girl you have ever seen in your entire life. And that your honor is how that fourteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room."

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Old 04-05-2012, 02:03 AM   #633
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c3shooter
"I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player,I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, "three wood." I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard "three wood."I looked down and there was a frog at the corner of the tee box, and he was telling me to use my three wood. I thought it was stupid but I was playing so badly that I thought nothing could hurt me so I took out my three wood. It was a long par four, and I hit the ball straight 250 yards with that three wood. Since the frog seemed to be lucky I picked him up and took him along with me. At the next whole he told me to use my five iron. It was a par three and I got my first hole in one ever. I made a least a birdie on all the rest of the holes, and all I had to do was listen to that frog."

That night I took the frog to the casino in my hotel. We played Roulette. I put my money where the frog said and won on every spin of the wheel. After that I was tired so I went up to bed. I took the frog out of my pocket and put it on the dresser. Suddenly it looked at me and said, "kiss me." Now I wasn't about to kiss a frog, but he said it again. So I kissed the frog and he turned into the most beautiful fourteen year old girl you have ever seen in your entire life. And that your honor is how that fourteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room."
That is awesome

God didnt make all men equal colonel Sam Colt did
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Old 04-05-2012, 11:41 AM   #634
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c3shooter View Post
"I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player,I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, "three wood." I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard "three wood."I looked down and there was a frog at the corner of the tee box, and he was telling me to use my three wood. I thought it was stupid but I was playing so badly that I thought nothing could hurt me so I took out my three wood. It was a long par four, and I hit the ball straight 250 yards with that three wood. Since the frog seemed to be lucky I picked him up and took him along with me. At the next whole he told me to use my five iron. It was a par three and I got my first hole in one ever. I made a least a birdie on all the rest of the holes, and all I had to do was listen to that frog."

That night I took the frog to the casino in my hotel. We played Roulette. I put my money where the frog said and won on every spin of the wheel. After that I was tired so I went up to bed. I took the frog out of my pocket and put it on the dresser. Suddenly it looked at me and said, "kiss me." Now I wasn't about to kiss a frog, but he said it again. So I kissed the frog and he turned into the most beautiful fourteen year old girl you have ever seen in your entire life. And that your honor is how that fourteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room."
Are you SURE that's a true story?
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Old 04-05-2012, 02:40 PM   #635
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Is Ron Paul a super villain?


image-1072920728.jpg

If he is he has my vote!

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Old 04-15-2012, 01:01 PM   #636
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He's weird.....

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Old 04-15-2012, 01:04 PM   #637
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Model70
Is Ron Paul a super villain?

<img src="http://www.firearmstalk.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=43067"/>

If he is he has my vote!
lol funny as hell. I'd vote for magneto before obama
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Old 04-15-2012, 01:19 PM   #638
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My friend asks his grandpa why do they call you an old fart and his grandpa replied cuz when old people fart we shoot chunks. I'm sorry I just couldn't resist

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Old 04-15-2012, 01:28 PM   #639
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An old man walks into a bar and sits down for a drink. He looks down the bar and sees a young guy with a multi-colored mohawk sitting at the end of the bar. The young guy notices that the old man keeps looking at him and finally gets up and approaches the old man.
Young guy - "why the hell do you keep staring at me?"
Old man - "well years ago i had sex with a peacock and i thought you might be my son."

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Old 04-15-2012, 07:48 PM   #640
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Default 3 biggest bombs of WW2

The Germans had 3 of the biggest conventional bombs of WW2,

The V1 Flying bomb

The V2 Flying bomb

The VW

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