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Old 02-17-2012, 04:44 PM   #551
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The Gay Cowboy...


A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand..

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.


Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked him in the eye and said,

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

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Old 02-17-2012, 11:47 PM   #552
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When chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity he went and got it back

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Old 02-19-2012, 05:10 PM   #553
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An Irish priest was transferred to Texas ..

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a Fine spring
day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the
beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station......

''Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''

''And the best of the day to yerself.. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead on me front lawn "

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,

''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!''

There was dead silence on the line for a moment....................................

Then Father O'Malley replied:

"Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''

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Old 02-19-2012, 05:23 PM   #554
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daoust_Nat
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas ..

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a Fine spring
day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the
beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station......

''Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''

''And the best of the day to yerself.. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead on me front lawn "

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,

''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!''

There was dead silence on the line for a moment....................................

Then Father O'Malley replied:

"Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''
I was needin a good laugh Nat

God didnt make all men equal colonel Sam Colt did
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Old 02-19-2012, 06:45 PM   #555
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WH_a0cGVRmI#!
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:07 PM   #556
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two gays start to take a shower together

the phone rings,one of them gets out & tells the other ''dont start without me''

he comes back & there is semen all over the walls in the shower!

now he is mad ask the one in the shower ''why did you start without me''?

other replys : ''i didnt,i farted''

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Old 02-19-2012, 07:17 PM   #557
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That Obama skit was funny-sh!t.........

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Old 02-19-2012, 11:52 PM   #558
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MobileMarine View Post
Here is a little peom i read in a porta potti
''' here I sit , Azzhole a flexin ,,,, I just gave birth to 3 pound mexican ''''
Wow, could you be any more offensive?
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Old 02-20-2012, 02:01 AM   #559
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Quote:
two gays start to take a shower together

the phone rings,one of them gets out & tells the other ''dont start without me''

he comes back & there is semen all over the walls in the shower!

now he is mad ask the one in the shower ''why did you start without me''?

other replys : ''i didnt,i farted
Is it possible to laugh and barf at the same time ?

Ment no offense about mexicans , if you like , you can fill in with someother race of your choice , just writing it as i saw it
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Old 02-20-2012, 02:08 AM   #560
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I always fill in the blank with "russian midget man-whore". It just sounds funny to me.

No offense to russians...I like their guns...

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