This older couple who had been married for years and still slept in the same bed.
Well every night the husband would come sit on the side of the bed and just let out a few loud farts . The wife getting tired of this told him that if he kept on he was going to fart his guts out . Well a few days later the wife had cooked some chikens for dinner when it hit her , Im going to get him good tonight ! She took some chicken guts and hid them where hit sits evernight . Night time came , the old man came in and sat down , the wife , about to burst out laughing went to the restroom . A few minutes went by and when she came back out he had a aweful look on his face . Wife ''' whats wrong honey ?'' Man : you were right ! I sat here and farted my guts out , but with Gods help and these two fingers I got them back in ! LMFAO !
The Pope - Jessie Jackson and a Boy scout were all in a small plane together .
Suddenly the planes engines failed and with only four parachutes on board , someone was going to die . The two Pilots said the heck with you guys and jumped out the plane .
Jessie Jackson said : Im too important to my peoples cause , I have to live and survive this . He jumped out the plane
With only one parachute left the Pope told the young boy to take it , he had lived a long and happy life and the boy still had much living to do .
The Young Boy scout replied : Aw dont worry Mr Pope , Mr Jackson jumped out with my book bag ! '' Edited Version ''
What do you call the horse on the back of our 25cent piece ? A quarter Horse '' lame ''
What do you call a deer with one eye ? An eyedeer
Sadly my other jokes are too inappropriate for here so here are some Acronyms for ya
BOAT : Bring Out Another Thousand
SAAB : Stupid Ass Actually Bought it
BOB : Burned Out Bastard
CHANGE : Cant You Help A ****** Get Elected
Country As Cow *hit
Cool As The Other Side Of The Pillow
High As Girraffe P**** or High As A Giraffe Hug
Slicker Than EEL P****
I have more but they only get more graphic and would be nothing more than ****
Danger is real , Fear is a option
“Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
Last edited by MobileMarine; 12-22-2011 at 04:20 PM.