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Old 12-19-2011, 04:12 AM   #451
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Q. What does the Air Force use to wash aircraft in below freezing weather?










A. Airmen First Class.

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Old 12-19-2011, 05:26 AM   #452
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatmidgets
This has gotta be one if the best threads I've ever read through!
Bet it took you awhile

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Old 12-19-2011, 05:50 AM   #453
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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?

Give her a bag of m&m's and tell her to put em in alphabetical order.

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did

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Old 12-19-2011, 05:51 AM   #454
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How do you keep a blonde from coming to your house?

Get a circle drive.

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did

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Old 12-19-2011, 11:49 AM   #455
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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?

Give her a bag of m&m's and tell her to put em in alphabetical order.

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did
M&M's?! I thought those candies were called W&W's.
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Old 12-19-2011, 11:56 AM   #456
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M&M's?! I thought those candies were called W&W's.
Either or

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did
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Old 12-19-2011, 03:36 PM   #457
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Did you hear Kim Kardashian just bought a new Ferrari?




She bought it because she heard they're designed to haul ass!

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Old 12-19-2011, 05:14 PM   #458
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Originally Posted by dks7895
Did you hear Kim Kardashian just bought a new Ferrari?

She bought it because she heard they're designed to haul ass!
Well shes definately got that. Wonder what basketball star is buying her that

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Old 12-21-2011, 02:31 AM   #459
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On this 70th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, I am reminded of Herman James, a West Virginia mountain man. Sixty eight years ago Herman was drafted by the Army.

On his first day of basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a new toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked out seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.



The Army has been looking for Herman for 68 years.

=

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Old 12-22-2011, 03:15 PM   #460
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This older couple who had been married for years and still slept in the same bed.
Well every night the husband would come sit on the side of the bed and just let out a few loud farts . The wife getting tired of this told him that if he kept on he was going to fart his guts out . Well a few days later the wife had cooked some chikens for dinner when it hit her , Im going to get him good tonight ! She took some chicken guts and hid them where hit sits evernight . Night time came , the old man came in and sat down , the wife , about to burst out laughing went to the restroom . A few minutes went by and when she came back out he had a aweful look on his face . Wife ''' whats wrong honey ?'' Man : you were right ! I sat here and farted my guts out , but with Gods help and these two fingers I got them back in ! LMFAO !

The Pope - Jessie Jackson and a Boy scout were all in a small plane together .
Suddenly the planes engines failed and with only four parachutes on board , someone was going to die . The two Pilots said the heck with you guys and jumped out the plane .
Jessie Jackson said : Im too important to my peoples cause , I have to live and survive this . He jumped out the plane
With only one parachute left the Pope told the young boy to take it , he had lived a long and happy life and the boy still had much living to do .
The Young Boy scout replied : Aw dont worry Mr Pope , Mr Jackson jumped out with my book bag ! '' Edited Version ''

What do you call the horse on the back of our 25cent piece ? A quarter Horse '' lame ''

What do you call a deer with one eye ? An eyedeer

Sadly my other jokes are too inappropriate for here so here are some Acronyms for ya

BOAT : Bring Out Another Thousand
SAAB : Stupid Ass Actually Bought it
BOB : Burned Out Bastard
CHANGE : Cant You Help A ****** Get Elected

Phrases :
Country As Cow *hit
Cool As The Other Side Of The Pillow
High As Girraffe P**** or High As A Giraffe Hug
Slicker Than EEL P****
I have more but they only get more graphic and would be nothing more than ****

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Last edited by MobileMarine; 12-22-2011 at 03:20 PM.
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