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Old 12-18-2011, 09:49 PM   #441
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Husbands battering wives can be easily cured. He comes home drunk and hits her. The next morning he finds himself sown into a sheet and her standing over him with a cast iron frying pan.
I had a couple of Norwegian neighbors that would get drunk on Saturday night. They would stand toe to toe and slug it out. They were pretty evenly matched.

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Old 12-18-2011, 09:54 PM   #442
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JTJ
Husbands battering wives can be easily cured. He comes home drunk and hits her. The next morning he finds himself sown into a sheet and her standing over him with a cast iron frying pan.
I had a couple of Norwegian neighbors that would get drunk on Saturday night. They would stand toe to toe and slug it out. They were pretty evenly matched.
Man and wife or guy friends that were evenly matched

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did
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Old 12-18-2011, 10:09 PM   #443
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OK, I did a shameless re-write on the original "Joke". My apologies to Fireguy

A woman goes to the marriage counselor in tears ....

Counselor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk we get into a ferocious argument."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his drunken stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and we didn't have an argument!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"


Now is that one better Winds? I like it.

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Old 12-18-2011, 10:56 PM   #444
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A high profile New Jersey lawyer does a rolling stop at a rural MS 4 way stop. He is pulled over by the ole country sheriff.
The sheriff ask for ID Proof of insurance and registration.

Lawyer : Why did you pull me over?
Sheriff : You didn't stop at the 4 way, you only slowed down.

Lawyer : Look you are just some country sheriff. I'm a high priced east coast lawyer. If we go to court I will have my way with you in front of all your MS. people. If you can convince me the difference between a stop and slowing down I will pay the ticket.

Sheriff : Step out of the car sir.
At this point the sheriff starts hitting the lawyer with is baton.

Sheriff : Now, do you want me to stop or slow down.

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Old 12-18-2011, 11:04 PM   #445
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Quote:
Originally Posted by downsouth
A high profile New Jersey lawyer does a rolling stop at a rural MS 4 way stop. He is pulled over by the ole country sheriff.
The sheriff ask for ID Proof of insurance and registration.

Lawyer : Why did you pull me over?
Sheriff : You didn't stop at the 4 way, you only slowed down.

Lawyer : Look you are just some country sheriff. I'm a high priced east coast lawyer. If we go to court I will have my way with you in front of all your MS. people. If you can convince me the difference between a stop and slowing down I will pay the ticket.

Sheriff : Step out of the car sir.
At this point the sheriff starts hitting the lawyer with is baton.

Sheriff : Now, do you want me to stop or slow down.
Thats great

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did
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Old 12-18-2011, 11:25 PM   #446
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlinman View Post
Man and wife or guy friends that were evenly matched

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did
Man and wife. They got along great the rest of the week.
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Old 12-18-2011, 11:26 PM   #447
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JTJ
Man and wife. They got along great the rest of the week.
Usually works that way

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did
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Old 12-19-2011, 02:37 AM   #448
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlinman View Post
We all agree. If you dont mind me askin but what was up w your old avatar pic? The old woman one?

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did

That was a picture of me.
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Old 12-19-2011, 03:55 AM   #449
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This has gotta be one if the best threads I've ever read through!

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Old 12-19-2011, 04:10 AM   #450
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Surgeon went in to the shop to pick up his car. When he saw the bill, he whistled, and told the mechanic "You charge almost as much as I do!"

Grinning, the mechanic replied "Well, that sounds prettyy fair to me, Doc- you only have 2 models to work on- and I have dozens of different makes and models to deal with."

"True." said the surgeoon, "But mine have to keep running while I work on them."

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