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Old 12-04-2011, 07:55 PM   #421
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fireguy
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ....

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
I am definitely stealing this.
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Old 12-10-2011, 01:45 AM   #422
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Christmas lights are like Obama voters.

They all hang together. Half of them don't work, and the ones that do, aren't that bright.
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Old 12-10-2011, 04:24 PM   #423
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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. It doesn’t take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan and says with a sneer: So, how are things in Hell? Satan replies: Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. And there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. What! God exclaims: You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake, he should never have been sent to Hell. Send him to me. Not a chance, Satan replies: I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him! God insists: Send him back or I’ll sue! Satan laughs uproariously and answers: Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:22 PM   #424
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Joke Forum? - The Club House
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Old 12-16-2011, 03:38 PM   #425
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Some funmy jokes
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Old 12-17-2011, 04:24 PM   #426
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A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
David the milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs.
I can splash it on my eyes."
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Old 12-18-2011, 04:50 AM   #427
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fireguy View Post
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ....

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
Seriously?

I know this is just a joke but the implication that "she deserved it for arguing with him" is too close to reality in many women's lives.
I know it's just a joke but it is definitely in poor taste.
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Old 12-18-2011, 05:04 AM   #428
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winds-of-change

Seriously?

I know this is just a joke but the implication that "she deserved it for arguing with him" is too close to reality in many women's lives.
I know it's just a joke but it is definitely in poor taste.
Yes it is WOC but so are alot of others on here.

God didnt make all men equal colonel sam colt did
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Old 12-18-2011, 05:23 AM   #429
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlinman View Post
Yes it is WOC but so are alot of others on here.
You're probably right. I know I'm over reacting but I don't think a joke should ever be made in regards to women getting beat by men. I guess I'm just being overly sensitive.
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Old 12-18-2011, 05:28 AM   #430
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winds-of-change

You're probably right. I know I'm over reacting but I don't think a joke should ever be made in regards to women getting beat by men. I guess I'm just being overly sensitive.
No your not. You probably have friends that some worthless sumb@#$% stomped/slapped around

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