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Old 10-01-2010, 09:59 AM   #11
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Default HMMM, Well, this is a new one...

From my Jeff Foxwortheys desk calender! Happy october 1 rst everyone as we
enter my favourite time of the year! You might be a redneck if... "You have
grease under your toenails"!

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Old 10-01-2010, 03:00 PM   #12
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Default You must be a redneck if...

You see a billboard that say's "DON'T DO CRACK''and it reminds you to pull up your pants...you hunt from your bedroom window...you know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum road kill...your always kooking to find your mother-in-law's picture on the back of a milk carton!!!

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Old 10-01-2010, 05:49 PM   #13
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Here's one that I recently heard...

A drunk walks into a bar doesn't have any money. He asks the bartender for a drink, but when asked to pay for it, he can't. The bartender asks him, "Well, do you have anything else that you can put up for the drink?"
The drunk says, "All that I have is the frog who can play the piano."
The bartender says, "If your frog can play me a song I'll give you a drink."
So the drunk puts the frog on the piano and he plays a beautiful song.
The drunk finishes his drink and asks for another.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anything else that you can put up for this one?"
The drunk says, "All that I have is this canary who can sing beautifully along with the frog."
The bartender says, "OK. If the canary sings me a beautiful song with the frog playing the piano, you can have another drink."
So the drunk puts the canary up on the piano and it goes on to sing a beautiful song while the frog plays along on the piano.
Meanwhile, another patron in the bar witnesses all of this and tells the drunk that he'll give him $100,000 for the frog and the canary. The drunk says "No."
The man says, "How about $50,000 for just one of them?", and the drunk proceeds to sell him the canary.
The man leaves with his new canary and the bartender asks the drunk, "Why didn't you sell him the frog too? Do you know how many drinks you could have bought for $100,000?" and the drunk replies, "Because the frog is a ventriloquist."

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Old 10-02-2010, 06:06 PM   #14
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What do you call a woman with one leg?...ILENE...What do you call an anorexic with thrush?..A quarter pownder with cheese...What's slimy,long,and smells like pork?...KERMIT the frogs finger...What do ufo's and smart blondes have in common?you keep hearing about them,but never see any...how do you keep a blonde in suspense?...I'll tell you tomorrow...how do you plant dope?...bury a blonde.

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Old 10-04-2010, 10:57 AM   #15
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Default Murphys Law?

Not a joke...but more of a "hmmm moment". Why is it everytime I fry an egg
for my beagle as his weekly ration on sunday for breakfast his egg turns out
perfect everytime & my 2 are never perfect?! Jethro always gets a perfect
resturant quality egg everytime while at least one of mine has a broken yolk
or is overcooked!

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Old 10-04-2010, 07:52 PM   #16
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Is that jethro bo dean,I think it's the cook. Egg's are good for the dogs coat,so i was told. My dog a shelty-collie get's two egg's a week also.

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Old 10-04-2010, 09:11 PM   #17
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I gave my dog some eggs once and he proceeded to smell up the entire house for the next 12 hours...Never again.

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Old 10-05-2010, 09:12 AM   #18
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Default "Aigs" Eh?

Longhair, Jethro was nearly named "Bart" after the cartoon character but I
chose "Jethro" since I wanted to honor my last one with a southern name like
"Goober" that holds the record as our longest living beagle...april 12 1992 to
september 21 2008! And, Igordog...as long as you restrict most dogs to one
egg, (maybe 2 a week) depending on size, (18 to 45 pounds) the (gas)
problem is (rarely) an issue. Pop has a mini beag & a standard sized seniour
pair that only get one egg a week, Goober was most likely part walker hound
as he weighed 45",s in his prime & was about 18",s tall! (The beagle breed
standard is 13" to 15",s). Jethro is a 15" beagle that is very muscular &
above the average weight of 25"s as he holds a steady weight of 32",s!

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Old 10-05-2010, 03:01 PM   #19
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SIXTEEN YEARS, That's along run for a dog,I think the smaller they are,the longer they live for.Not sure,I know it sucks after one passes away. My vet has a really BIG dog, not sure of the breed and he told me Big dogs only live eight years or so.

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Old 10-06-2010, 08:35 AM   #20
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Default You are right about smaller dogs...

Living longer! Goober holds the current record in our family as a beagle... but,
my grand Aunt had a chihuahua that was very spoiled & lived over 23 yrs!
Rufus, my dads elder beagle might beat Goobers record...but he has an
enlarged heart due to his "bred-down" stature & needs heart meds to stay
healthy. He will be 15 in march of next year & his exact birthday is only a
"guess" as Rufus was an adopted dog. I was lucky with Goober, as his
breeders provided documents of his birth along with his littermates! Out of
the Pack...Goober trotted up to me as "his chosen one"! (It was the first &
only time in my life),"that a dog chose me"! Jethro, (my current one) was
the runt of the litter & the last one to be sold by an elderly couple that had
been breeding beagles for 40 yrs. (He might be related to Goober) as both
familys live on the Indian reservation south of Coeur d Alene in the Worley
area! Jethros breeders have bred beagles that lived up to 19 yrs!

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