Joke Forum? - Page 164
You are Unregistered, please register to use all of the features of FirearmsTalk.com!    
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > Joke Forum?

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-27-2014, 12:47 AM   #1631
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
BigB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,289
Liked 982 Times on 628 Posts
Likes Given: 392

Default

Baseball is wrong- man with four balls cannot walk!

__________________

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

BigB is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2014, 12:48 AM   #1632
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
BigB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,289
Liked 982 Times on 628 Posts
Likes Given: 392

Default

Man who argue with wife all day get no piece at night!

__________________

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

BigB is offline  
Axxe55 Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2014, 02:21 AM   #1633
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
nosaj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 734
Liked 287 Times on 193 Posts

Default

Confucius say: War not determine who is right. War determine who is left

__________________
nosaj is offline  
AIKIJUTSU Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2014, 05:33 AM   #1634
Lifetime Supporting Member
FTF_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 1 reviews
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Santa Cruz Mountains,CA
Posts: 14,787
Liked 8965 Times on 5209 Posts
Likes Given: 11784

Default

Measurements you never learned in school:

10150456_619958391417800_548052796_n.jpg  
__________________

Shoot me an email at vikingdad995@gmail.com

Quote:
"Among the many misdeeds of British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest."
- Mohandas Gandhi, an Autobiography, page 446.
Vikingdad is offline  
6
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2014, 02:44 AM   #1635
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
rocshaman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: KanOkla
Posts: 3,279
Liked 2145 Times on 1345 Posts
Likes Given: 2160

Default

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."

__________________
rocshaman is offline  
6
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2014, 02:50 AM   #1636
The Apocalypse Is Coming.....
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 28,709
Liked 22027 Times on 12418 Posts
Likes Given: 53672

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rocshaman View Post
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
that's a good one Jim!
__________________
Axxe55 is offline  
rocshaman Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2014, 05:17 AM   #1637
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
BigB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,289
Liked 982 Times on 628 Posts
Likes Given: 392

Default

Man who sticks d**k in peanut butter jar is ****ing nuts!

__________________

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

BigB is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2014, 05:20 PM   #1638
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
string1946's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Georgia
Posts: 6,806
Liked 1460 Times on 1024 Posts
Likes Given: 273

Default The Cowboy and the Yuppie

A Texas cowboy was tending to his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant for the Government." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy, "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business........ Now give me back my dog."

__________________

NRA Endowdment Life Member.....F&AM
Curio and Relics License Holder (FFL 03)

Gun confiscation will not happen in my lifetime.

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." C.S. Lewis

string1946 is offline  
2
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2014, 05:29 PM   #1639
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
longunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,174
Liked 188 Times on 149 Posts
Likes Given: 108

Default

I saw this on Facebook today and thought it was pretty funny....the gun grabber gang
imageuploadedbyfirearms-talk1396024148.065452.jpg


Sent from my iPhone usin

__________________

Marlin Model 60
Mossberg Maverick 88-12 GA
Mosin Nagant 91/30
Stag Model 2
Savage Model 11
Saiga 7.62x39
Mossberg MVP Varmint
Chinese T53 Mosin Nagant X2
53 Springfield M1 Garand

longunner is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2014, 06:39 PM   #1640
I used to play keyboards, but now...
FTF_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Balota's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Glenpool, Oklahoma
Posts: 3,596
Liked 2538 Times on 1541 Posts
Likes Given: 2619

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by longunner View Post
I saw this on Facebook today and thought it was pretty funny....the gun grabber gang
Attachment 140623


Sent from my iPhone usin
I wonder who taught them not to put fingers on triggers? Except the guy in the middle. He looks like he's about to do us all a favor...
__________________

Balota
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States
Practice does NOT make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Only perfect practice makes perfect.

Check out 5th FTF Shoot & Hoot.http://www.firearmstalk.com/forums/f138/5th-ftf-shotgun-shoot-hoot-vanzant-mo-apr-11-12-2015-a-109479/

Balota is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Is it just me or does the firing line forum seem restrictive compared to this forum tiberius10721 The Club House 43 03-20-2013 05:39 PM
Fixing Death Row: Not a joke or forum game Dillinger The Club House 30 06-26-2010 08:40 PM
Joke Of the Day markerdown The Club House 8 11-13-2009 08:09 PM
Joke of the Day markerdown The Club House 5 10-24-2009 12:20 AM