Joke Forum? - Page 156
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > Joke Forum?

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-10-2013, 10:48 PM   #1551
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West, by God, Funroe,Louisiana
Posts: 18,707
Liked 9206 Times on 5058 Posts
Likes Given: 74

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaido View Post

.....I'm stealing this one for Facebook....
Haha! I already did!
__________________
trip286 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2013, 11:47 PM   #1552
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
rocshaman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: KanOkla
Posts: 3,279
Liked 2144 Times on 1344 Posts
Likes Given: 2160

Default

Sausages

There was a lady who immigrated in Canada and married an Canadian gentleman. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but anyhow managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. So, she brought her husband to the store... because he spoke English.

__________________
rocshaman is offline  
2
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2013, 03:18 AM   #1553
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,040
Liked 250 Times on 178 Posts
Likes Given: 15

Default

The three biggest lies in America :

1- If you like your present health plan, you can keep it .

2- There are a few Glitches in the Website .

3- I won't %$^ in your mouth .

__________________
Rentacop is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2013, 04:25 AM   #1554
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
rocshaman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: KanOkla
Posts: 3,279
Liked 2144 Times on 1344 Posts
Likes Given: 2160

Default

Two Coffees

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barrack Obama meets a man with a beard. 'Are you Mohammed?' he asks. 'No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds .

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?' 'Why no he answers, I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still .'

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again, he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?' 'No, I am Jesus, the Christ...you will find Mohammed higher up. '

Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs ever higher. Once again, he reaches an even larger room where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with a silver white beard and once again repeats his question:

"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing. 'No, my son.... I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, but you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Obama says, “Yes please”! As God looks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out: "Hey Mohammed-two coffees!""

Keep your trust in God...your president is an idiot………
__________________
rocshaman is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2013, 05:27 PM   #1555
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Pendleton, 29670,South Carolina
Posts: 2,586
Liked 1275 Times on 736 Posts
Likes Given: 1937

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rentacop View Post
The three biggest lies in America :

1- If you like your present health plan, you can keep it .

2- There are a few Glitches in the Website .

3- I won't %$^ in your mouth .
Does that stuff override these?:

1. "I am not a crook"
2. "I did not have sex with that woman"
3. "The NSA does not collect data on American citizens"
__________________
AIKIJUTSU is offline  
LoniJo Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2013, 07:14 PM   #1556
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
string1946's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Georgia
Posts: 6,806
Liked 1460 Times on 1024 Posts
Likes Given: 273

Default The Bagpiper

Sooooo Sad....

bagpipe-joke.jpg  
__________________

NRA Endowdment Life Member.....F&AM
Curio and Relics License Holder (FFL 03)

Gun confiscation will not happen in my lifetime.

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." C.S. Lewis

string1946 is offline  
2
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2013, 07:28 PM   #1557
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
dango's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,178
Liked 3461 Times on 1934 Posts
Likes Given: 19300

Default

How many rednecks does it take to make a Pollack ? Hey , I have no idea ,I,m polish.,!

__________________
dango is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2013, 09:26 AM   #1558
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DeltaF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Deep South USA
Posts: 3,203
Liked 2443 Times on 1340 Posts
Likes Given: 336

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dango
How many rednecks does it take to make a Pollack ? Hey , I have no idea ,I,m polish.,!
That's easy. It takes 2 half polish cousins + 1 bottle of apple pie moonshine.
__________________

"...it is ...ALIVE!!!"

DeltaF is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2013, 10:31 PM   #1559
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Daoust_Nat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Orlando,Florida
Posts: 2,163
Liked 1294 Times on 629 Posts
Likes Given: 77

Default

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, you bring your grades u p from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little,

and get your hair cut, then we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.


After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."

The boy said, “you know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that

Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."


(You're going to love the Dad's reply!)


"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

__________________

A bad day at the range is better then a good day on the job!

Daoust_Nat is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2013, 02:47 AM   #1560
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,040
Liked 250 Times on 178 Posts
Likes Given: 15

Default

" I figured out why I like married women : The rejections aren't as personal . "

" I don't like dating women who get violent with men who cheat on them . It cramps my style . "

" A woman is like a fine bottle of---------milk . It doesn't improve with age and at some point you have to get rid of it . "

( better than Jay Lame-o )

__________________
Rentacop is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Is it just me or does the firing line forum seem restrictive compared to this forum tiberius10721 The Club House 43 03-20-2013 05:39 PM
Fixing Death Row: Not a joke or forum game Dillinger The Club House 30 06-26-2010 08:40 PM
Joke Of the Day markerdown The Club House 8 11-13-2009 08:09 PM
Joke of the Day markerdown The Club House 5 10-24-2009 12:20 AM