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Old 09-02-2013, 07:57 PM   #1381
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By the same token- "Is that a cowboy hat?"

"No, it is a Western hat- a Stetson to be precise. It is only a cowboy hat when a cowboy is under it."
I wear the boots. I HAVE the hat. I even wear the jeans that make my ass look good.

I am not a cowboy.
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Old 09-02-2013, 08:14 PM   #1382
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Aww is there a sensitive musician on here? This will make him feel better.

A rock band is playing a concert. The lead vocal is thinking "Man my hair looks good! These chicks are going nuts over me! I make this band what it is."

The lead guitarist is thinking "This song needs more solos. I am so good. These chicks are going nuts over me! This band would be nothing without me."

The drummer is thinking "Man this is fun! These chicks are going nuts over me! I'm gonna bang one of them like I'm banging this drum!"

The bass player is thinking "C... D.... F#.... G...... C... D.... F#.... G......"

What do you call a musician with half a brain?
Gifted.

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb ?
None...they just steal somebody else's light

What do you call a successful musician?
A guy whose wife/girlfriend has 2 jobs.

Two guys were walking down the street ...one was destitute ...
the other was a musician as well ..

What do you say to a musician in a 3-piece suit ?
"Will the defendant please rise ..."

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a musicians car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

What does a musician say when he gets to work?
"Would you like fries with that, sir?"

What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
Drool.

"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer."

Why bury musicians 6 feet under?
Because deep down they're very nice people.

What's the difference between a musician and the rear end of a horse?
You don't know? Hell I don't know either.
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Old 09-02-2013, 08:38 PM   #1383
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I tell black jokes. One of my best friends is black. He laughs his ass off.

I tell gay jokes. My sister is a lesbian. She laughs.

I tell fat hairy redneck jokes. I AM one. I laugh.

None of this **** is personal.
Ok, I get it. I just didn't get the jokes I didn't think they were funny. Otherwise I would laugh.
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Old 09-02-2013, 08:40 PM   #1384
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Ok, I get it. I just didn't get the jokes I didn't think they were funny. Otherwise I would laugh.
I did. :-D
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Old 09-02-2013, 08:43 PM   #1385
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I did. :-D
Well not everyone is the same.
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Old 09-02-2013, 08:48 PM   #1386
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Yeah, I tend to look over jokes I don't think are funny, instead of getting my dander all up.

Now if someone were to just come out and say, "all musicians are fags."
Now see, that's just offensive. Totally understandable to get upset over that, regardless of the accuracy of the statement (or lack of. Whatever.)

But a joke is a joke is a joke.

On to the pet peeve thread.
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Old 09-02-2013, 08:50 PM   #1387
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No Aggie jokes but how about?

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 5 1 to do it and the other 4 to stand around and say how much better they would have done it.

What do you call a person that hangs out with musicians?
Answer: A drummer!

When he says a drummer is someone who hangs out with a musician, that's not funny to me I don't get the joke. So your saying drummers are no good?
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Old 09-02-2013, 08:58 PM   #1388
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When he says a drummer is someone who hangs out with a musician, that's not funny to me I don't get the joke. So your saying drummers are no good?
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
The knock always slows down


How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.


Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took two hours to get the drummer out.


Why do bands have bass players?
To translate for the drummer.


How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
1."Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"
2.Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
3.Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
4.Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
5.None. They have a machine to do that.


Why is it good that drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.


What is the difference between a drummer and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathisers.
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Old 09-02-2013, 09:05 PM   #1389
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When he says a drummer is someone who hangs out with a musician, that's not funny to me I don't get the joke. So your saying drummers are no good?
I love drummers. No one handles a stick better.
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Old 09-02-2013, 09:09 PM   #1390
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Well I would like to apologize for over reacting to a stupid joke!
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