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Old 03-12-2013, 04:24 AM   #1181
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Default Brave Woman meets Grisley!!!

This is a story of self control and marksmanship with an itsy bitsy shooter by a woman against a fierce predator.

What is the smallest caliber you trust to protect yourself?

The Beretta Jetfire:





"While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my boyfriend we were surprised by a huge grizzly bear charging at us from out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire with me I would not be here today!

Just one shot to my boyfriend's knee cap was all it took…….the bear got him and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.

It's one of the best pistols in my collection……..."


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Old 03-13-2013, 01:11 AM   #1182
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The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex...
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,
'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'

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Old 03-13-2013, 11:13 PM   #1183
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In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.."Mother," the nuns asked earnestly,"Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said: "

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Old 03-13-2013, 11:21 PM   #1184
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What the hell did Mother Superior say ?

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Old 03-13-2013, 11:30 PM   #1185
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????????????????

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Old 03-13-2013, 11:45 PM   #1186
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Dasout nat, yours are about the only jokes I'll take time to read because USUALLY they are funny as heck. This last one fell beneath you.

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Old 03-14-2013, 02:52 AM   #1187
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Quote:
Originally Posted by downsouth
Dasout nat, yours are about the only jokes I'll take time to read because USUALLY they are funny as heck. This last one fell beneath you.
She died. She never got her words out.
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Old 03-14-2013, 08:28 AM   #1188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kytowboater View Post

She died. She never got her words out.
Quess I didn't get the joke. Now that you explained it, still not funny...;-)
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Old 03-14-2013, 08:34 AM   #1189
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daoust_Nat View Post
In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.."Mother," the nuns asked earnestly,"Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said: "
Don't leave us hanging! What did she say?
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Old 03-14-2013, 08:53 AM   #1190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texaswoodworker

Don't leave us hanging! What did she say?
That's the joke.
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