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Old 10-24-2012, 01:30 PM   #1011
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After being married for thirty years, a wife asked
her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, then said,
"You're an alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,
and Hot".

She smiled happily and said ...
"Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and
the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving
his testicles.

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Old 10-25-2012, 02:17 AM   #1012
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Have to type something
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Old 10-25-2012, 03:05 PM   #1013
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Default Football humor.....

Ohio State University Head Football Coach Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades, and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
___________________________________________

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?

Drool.
___________________________________________

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That’s a sophomore course.
___________________________________________

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.

One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.”

The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”
___________________________________________

A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
___________________________________________

What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit?

“Will the defendant please rise.”
___________________________________________

If three Ohio State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

The police officer.
___________________________________________

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________

What do you get when you put 32 Alabama cheerleaders in one room?

essee A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________

University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________

How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

He saw “911” on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________

What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?

Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

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Old 10-25-2012, 04:22 PM   #1014
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What does a fish say when he swims into a wall??

DAM!

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Old 11-01-2012, 10:45 PM   #1015
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"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

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Old 11-02-2012, 02:36 PM   #1016
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A couple of blonde hunters are out in the woods when one of them suddenly falls down. She doesn't seem to be breathing, her eyes are rolled up. The other blonde whips out her cell phone and dials 911. She gasps to the operator, "I think my friend is dead! What shall I do?" The operator says in a calm soothing voice, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure she's dead."

There is silence, then a shot is heard... The blonde says, "OK, now what?"

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Old 11-02-2012, 03:23 PM   #1017
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Unforgetable Password-Perfect Senior Solution!!

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Old 11-02-2012, 05:09 PM   #1018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daoust_Nat View Post
"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
I dated a girl who swore that sex was a surefire cure for a headache. Who was I to argue?
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Old 11-02-2012, 06:21 PM   #1019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vikingdad

I dated a girl who swore that sex was a surefire cure for a headache. Who was I to argue?
You still got her number?
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Old 11-02-2012, 06:25 PM   #1020
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carbon15man

You still got her number?
She'd be way to OLD for you mon ami
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