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Old 12-23-2010, 04:30 PM   #91
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Default Doctors and Guns

DOCTORS vs. GUN OWNERS

Doctors

(A) The number of physicians in the USA is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now think about this:

Guns

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT almost everyone has at least one doctor.

This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Out of concern for the public at large, we withheld the statistics on

lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

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Old 12-24-2010, 08:57 PM   #92
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A clean joke you can tell the kids

A police man pulled a pickup truck over for speeding. when he approached the truck he noticed there was penguine in the bed. The officer asked the driver if thet were his the man replies no. Will then your going to have to take them to the zoo.

The next day the policeman pulles the same truck over for sp[eeding again this time he see's the penguines wearing sun glasses. so he tell the driver I thought I told you to take these penguine to the zoo? The driver replies I did and we had so much fun that I'm taking them to the beach today.

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Old 12-26-2010, 03:52 AM   #93
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Default My neighbors...

My neighbors,The two cute,young,Lesbians who live next door,asked me what I would like for X-MAS???...I was quite surprised,when they gave me a Timex!! It was very nice of them,but I'm pretty sure that they misunderstood me,when I said I wanna watch!!!...

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Old 12-26-2010, 09:34 AM   #94
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Default Aahemmm...

YOU PERV!!!

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Old 12-26-2010, 12:15 PM   #95
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GUILTY..as Charged.............

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Old 12-30-2010, 11:53 AM   #96
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Default yOU MIGHT BE A redneck if...

All you can eat buffets fear your family!

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Old 12-30-2010, 02:57 PM   #97
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Redneck- flashback! We had picked up 225 Army Basic Trainees from Ft Campbell, and were taking them to Ft Benning for the Infantry training. Army issued what were known as "meal warrants"- certain businesses signed on to feed miltary in transit, they get reimbursed set amount per head. We rolled in (6 chartered buses) to one of the "all you can eat" cafeteria chains. These kids had 8 weeks of Army life behind them, fat had been trimmed away, they were polite but ravenous. I have never seen a Biblical "plague of locusts", but imagine it was very similar. When we departed, they closed.Literally. There was NO food left. None.

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Old 12-30-2010, 07:46 PM   #98
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A guy cruises thru a stop sign, and gets pulled over by a local policeman. *Guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit..

"Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see your CCW permit. *Are you carrying today?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well then, better tell me what you got."

Smith says, "Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There's a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. *And, I've got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot."

"Okay," the cop says. *"Anything else?"

"Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR15 and a shotgun. *That's about it."

"Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?"

"Nope."

"Well then, what are you afraid of...?"

"Not a damn thing..."

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(The cleanliness of our hearts, the strength of our limbs and our commitment to our promise)

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Old 12-30-2010, 08:23 PM   #99
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A black boy and his siter went trick-or-treating.Naked.The first person they saw said "Why in the world dont you have any clothes on?" Their reply? "Were trick or treatng.Were Hersheys bars.One with nuts,one without!"

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Old 12-31-2010, 12:11 AM   #100
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I'm sure this has been posted somewhere, but the chimps are funny!

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