Jeff Foxworthy in Kabul
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Jeff Foxworthy in Kabul

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Old 12-24-2009, 04:08 PM   #1
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Default Jeff Foxworthy in Kabul

I "acquisitioned" this off one of my military forums to share here.

Jeff "Don't call me Mohammad" Foxworthy sez: what's your fave?

Personally I'm leaning toward #10 but #1 and #4 are hard to beat.....


1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.


Maxine on Towel Heads


Recently I received a warning about the use of this politically incorrect term, so please note: We all need to be more sensitive in our choice of words. I have been informed that the Islamic terrorists, who hate our guts and want to kill us, do not like to be called "Towel Heads" since the item they wear on their heads is not actually a towel, but in fact, a small folded sheet. Therefore, from this point forward, please refer to them as "Little Sheet Heads"

Thank you for your support and compliance on this delicate matter.



"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway

“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.”

Last edited by IGETEVEN; 12-24-2009 at 04:16 PM. Reason: Additional information
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Old 12-24-2009, 04:37 PM   #2
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Numbah one!
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”Samuel Adams
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Old 12-24-2009, 04:44 PM   #3
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i like number 2 personally
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Old 12-24-2009, 05:36 PM   #4
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My vote goes to #1
"I never killed anyone who didn't need killing."
JW Hardin
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Old 12-24-2009, 06:00 PM   #5
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I like #5 myself.
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Old 12-24-2009, 09:10 PM   #6
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I like #4.
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Old 12-24-2009, 09:43 PM   #7
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Damn... They were all so good
Sent by my homing pigeon that suffers from severe social anxiety.

Originally Posted by skullcrusher View Post
Yea, um, Darin...that's in the Double Secret Bunker. :p
Originally Posted by orangello View Post
Hookers and optics, cheap is usually a warning.
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Old 12-24-2009, 09:44 PM   #8
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Number 8.

Some of the Taliban still doesn't know that though.
"This is not about land or money...but the one thing that no man should never be able to take from another man: the freedom to make his own choices about his life, where he'll live, how he'll live, how he'll raise his family. "

William Travis, The Alamo: 13 Days to Glory
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Old 12-25-2009, 12:28 AM   #9
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That list is full of win!
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