Impatiently waiting.
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Old 06-08-2013, 03:18 PM   #1
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Default Impatiently waiting.

You know, this zombie apocolypse this better hurry up and get here, or otherwise I'm gonna be too old to enjoy it.

I've already decided that the whole "bug out" situation is not for me -- if I tried to survive by running around the woods trying to get by on only what I could carry, I'd be dead of starvation or exhaustion within a week. Mebbe there was a time that I was enough of a hoss to pull that off, but, while I am not quite a flacid blob of goo, the combined aspects of age, cigars, and sitting too much in front of this 'puter have sorta softened me up.

So the new plan in to sit on my porch with one of my bottles of water, munching on some freeze-dried food, and snipe 'em off. Head shot; eat a doughnut; head shot; get some coffee; etc. -- you get the idea. Mebbe have a buddy over -- "hey john, you 'member that time" BLAM! "that you and I " BLAM! "poured that honey all over . . " BLAM! -- once more, you get the idea.

But I'm starting to feel a little silly sitting here with all my zombie killing equipment, and not one damn zombie in sight. I dunno, mebbe if they DO eat brains, they figure the pickin's are a little slim around my house, but hell, one one think I at least would be tempting as a snack.

I'm not getting any younger. Eyesight's going, hearings going, blood pressure is high . . . and I'm starting to develop that old grit "I've got boots older than you" attitude. Bring on the damn zombies already.

Hell, at this point I'd settle for flying monkeys.

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Old 06-08-2013, 03:35 PM   #2
The Apocalypse Is Coming.....
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LMAO!!! that's funny!

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Old 06-08-2013, 03:45 PM   #3
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I agree, $#!+ or GET OFF THE POT.

The EOTW has been predicted since

I could read and write, I've been

waiting 50 years.


I had heard the last batch of brain eating zombies

invaded Washington D.C., and they all starved to death...

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Old 06-08-2013, 03:54 PM   #4
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Thank you!

I'm with you on the bugging in. I want my coffee and donuts too and have stocked up on both!

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Old 06-08-2013, 03:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notdku View Post
Thank you!

I'm with you on the bugging in. I want my coffee and donuts too and have stocked up on both!
It's hard to enjoy a good apocolypse without coffee and doughnuts.
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Old 06-08-2013, 04:01 PM   #6
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Quote:
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I agree, $#!+ or GET OFF THE POT.

The EOTW has been predicted since

I could read and write, I've been

waiting 50 years.


I had heard the last batch of brain eating zombies

invaded Washington D.C., and they all starved to death...

When I used to read TEOTWAWKI situations, I would picture myself as the action hero, bravely overcoming multiple hardships. Now I'm the wiley old coot that dispenses the advice to the young idiot from the comfort of his bunker.
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Old 06-08-2013, 04:27 PM   #7
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Quote:
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It's hard to enjoy a good apocolypse without coffee and doughnuts.
coffee and doughnuts during the morning hours. sweet tea and roast beef sandwich for lunch and a good bourbon while using night vision to get the nighttime stragglers!
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Old 06-08-2013, 04:36 PM   #8
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Sounds good, except I like unsweetened tea.

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Old 06-08-2013, 05:03 PM   #9
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Sounds good, except I like unsweetened tea.
i can drink either one. as long as they are served on ice!
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Old 06-08-2013, 05:25 PM   #10
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Well, I hate to be the harbinger of

bad news, but IMO, like MG said in

"Return From Thunderdome",

"We're going to live here, for

a long time, and be thankful."

Aint no "poccyclipse" coming, kiddies.

Sorry.

But like the Outlaw Josey Wales said-

"Dying ain't much of a living."

Looks to me like we'll just all have to

live long, and prosper. . .

. . . seems the more unsweetened tea I drink,

the less I like the Kool-Aid. Now, do you leave yours on the windowsill?

I throw in two bags, and leave it in the fridge.

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