If you believe in gun control you must believe
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Old 02-28-2008, 12:35 AM   #1
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Default If you believe in gun control you must believe

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to gun control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That "NYPD Blue" and "Miami Vice" are documentaries.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That an intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .44 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That firearms in the hands of private citizens are the gravest threat to world peace, and China, Pakistan and Korea can be trusted with nuclear weapons.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That ordinary people, in the presence of guns, turn into slaughtering butchers, and revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns, just like Guns and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That one should consult an automotive engineer for safer seatbelts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for spinal paralysis, a software engineer for computer problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the "right of the people peaceably to assemble," the "right of the people to be secure in their homes," "enumeration's herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people," "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people," refer to individuals, but "the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the states.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, allows the states to have a National Guard, created by act of Congress in 1917.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the National Guard, paid by the federal government, occupying property leased to the federal government, using weapons owned by the federal government, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a state agency.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That private citizens can't have handguns, because they serve no militia purpose, even though the military has hundreds of thousands of them, and private citizens can't have assault rifles, because they are military weapons.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That it is reasonable for California to have a minimum 2 year sentence for possessing but not using an assault rifle, and reasonable for California to have a 6 month minimum sentence for raping a female police officer.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That it is reasonable to jail people for carrying but not using guns, but outrageous to jail people for possessing marijuana.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That minimum sentences violate civil rights, unless it's for possessing a gun.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That door-to-door searches for drugs are a gross violation of civil rights and a sign of fascism, but door-to-door searches for guns are a reasonable solution to the "gun problem."

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the first amendment absolutely allows child pornography and threats to kill cops, but doesn't apply to manuals on gun repair.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That Illinois' law that allows any government official from Governor to dogcatcher to carry a gun is reasonable, and the law that prohibits any private citizen, even one with 50 death threats on file and a million-dollar jewelry business, is reasonable. And it isn't a sign of police stateism.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self-defense only justifies bare hands.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That gun safety courses in school only encourage kids to commit violence, but sex education in school doesn't encourage kids to have sex.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the ready availability of guns today, with only a few government forms, waiting periods, checks, infringements, ID, and fingerprinting, is responsible for all the school shootings, compared to the lack of school shootings in the 1950's and 1960's, which was caused by the awkward availability of guns at any hardware store, gas station, and by mail order.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That we must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time and anyone who owns a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That there is too much explicit violence featuring guns on TV, and that cities can sue gun manufacturers because people aren't aware of the dangers involved with guns.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, and the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the crime rate in America is decreasing because of gun control, and the increase in crime requires more gun control.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That 100 years after its founding, the NRA got into the politics of guns from purely selfish motives, and 100 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, the black civil rights movement was founded from purely noble motives.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control, and statistics that show increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That we don't need guns against an oppressive government, because the Constitution has internal safeguards, and we should ban and seize all guns, therefore violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments of that Constitution, thereby becoming an oppressive government.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That guns are an ineffective means of self defense for rational adults, but in the hands of an ignorant criminal become a threat to the fabric of society.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That guns are so complex to use that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That guns cause crime, which is why there are so many mass slayings at gun shows.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That guns aren't necessary to national defense, which is why the army only has 3 million of them.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, and Chicago cops need guns.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That the Constitution protects us, so we don't need guns, and can confiscate them, thereby violating the 5th amendment of that constitution.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That women are just as intelligent and capable as men and a woman with a gun is "an accident waiting to happen".

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That women are just as intelligent and capable as men, and gun makers' advertisements aimed at women are "preying on their fears."

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That a handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That a majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population used to support owning slaves.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That one should ignore as idiots politicians who confuse Wicca with Satanism and exaggerate the gay community as a threat to society, but listen sagely to politicians who can refer to a self-loading small arm as a "weapon of mass destruction" and an "assault weapon."

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That Massachusetts is safer with bans on guns, which is why Teddy Kennedy has machinegun-toting guards.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by, because they can be trusted.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That a woman raped and strangled with her panties is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

If you believe in gun control you must believe...
That guns should be banned because of the danger involved, and live reporting from the battlefield, which can keep the enemy informed of troop deployments, getting thousands of troops killed and perhaps losing a war, is a protected act that CANNOT be compromised on.



by Michael Z. Williamson

__________________

Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, and politicians. All three need supervision. —DICK ARMEY

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