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HenryACR 01-18-2011 05:02 PM

I need help with my military novel!
I think I'm gonna start writing a novel. I like the idea so far, but I'm having some trouble figuring out how to make it realistic. I need your help in figuring out what would happen in real life if this story was true. I know, the plot is extremely unrealistic, but I'm aiming for that. Just think of it from the "epic" point of view, not the buzzkill one.

It starts out with this brand new father whose girlfriend dies in childbirth. He decides to take his son and raise him all the same. Oh, I forgot to tell you: he's a full-time special forces operator.

The kid grows up under the teachings of members of the most elite fighting force in the world, the Covert Operations Division (COD). They work for the President of the United States, and yet they're completely off the grid. In short, none of the operators exist. They have CIA clearance codes above Top Secret, they speak more than ten languages each, they are funded by a program in Area 51, they are the world's top marksmen, and they are all masters of self defense. Basically, they are the most combat-proven warriors in the world. This is what this kid is born into, and the team immediately begins instructing him on how to be the world's most effective warrior ever known. They are his family. By age 8 he is accompanying his family in multiple operations and missions, eventually becoming the world's fastest, strongest, and deadliest child soldier alive. His KDR is hacker-status, despite being shot more times than most real-life combat veterans. The fact that COD is employing a kid is kept on the extreme hush-hush, even for an already top-secret organization. The President allows it, as well as the control team in Area 51, because they trust the team's abilities in combat that much. So the kid continues to fight (which includes peacekeeping, surveillance, recon, espionage, all manners of combat ranging from CQB to sniper support, international negotiations, and everything else that Tier 1 Operators in real life are expected to do) until age 14. This ultimate killer's life suddenly goes downhill.

An operation goes terribly wrong when COD accompanies a Marine Battalion into battle in the mountains of Afghanistan. A miscommunicated artillery bombardment lands directly on the squad, killing everyone (even the father) except this kid. He is badly wounded as he limps back to the Marines, who see that he will die in a few hours if they don't get him medical attention. The kid wakes up weeks later with injuries galore, and realizes that COD has been globally exposed. The true corruption of the government has been revealed to the world: the President has authorized the use of a highly trained child soldier for over 14 years.

Now what happens? I'm having writer's block because I don't know what the legal issues of a U.S. child soldier would create. Would he be sent to school? Given a family? I don't know anything about that stuff. This is where I need everyone's help. Give me ideas on what would happen to this kid, but make sure they're accurate for the real world. If anyone can give me anything that pops into your head, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks guys!

NGIB 01-18-2011 05:16 PM

The story line is so impossible that you might as well write a science fiction novel, or maybe focus on retail security...

JonM 01-18-2011 05:17 PM

the libs would label him a mass murderer for killing peaceful islamics and put him in prison for the rest of his life. might go for short story instead of novel.

TimL2952 01-18-2011 05:18 PM

wow! great setup! there are sooo many ways you can go with this....placed into foster care and adopted by enemy spies plotting to destroy our nation?!!?

since COD is compromised is he picked up by a government led clean up/cover up team?

recycled into a new covert ops group?

Ubergopher 01-18-2011 06:02 PM

I'll start with some gentle critiques on what I'd do differently without changing the story completely...

1. Read Ender's Game if you haven't already, I think it describes pretty well what you'd be talking about, specifically the last chapter or so.

2. The kid would probably be pitied, put through all kinds of therapy, the President (and possibly the VP) would probably have to resign in disgrace, probably in some back room deal to prevent prosecution. Anyone that knew about this instant outcast from anything that matters essentially.

3. I'd agree with NGIB though it's to unrealistic to be a semi-current military novel. Throw it forward 40 or 50 years at a minimum, maybe even farther. Add in some sci-fi elements.

4. What's your plan? Is the COD stuff the story then the aftermath be the climax and ending, or is the COD stuff the buildup, and the meat of the story how he deals with it?

Now for the rough stuff,

I'd ditch that story overall, the whole child soldier being the elitest elite isn't all that new. It's been done in Halo twice over (first with the Spartan IIs, then the Spartan IIIs), it was also done in Enders Game, and to a lesser extent the Shadow of... series by the same guy. Also the movie Soldier with Kurt Russel are just a few examples to come to mind.

Maybe som sci-fi story about they have to be recruited young because it takes to long for normal soldiers to be still effective by the time they get to the battlefield due to a lack of FTL travel, then as his ship is en-route after say 8 or 9 years of nothing but training for it, they suddenly become obsolete because of FTL travel or the war ends. That of course only works if you want to do more of a character piece as opposed to an action book.

saviorslegacy 01-18-2011 06:15 PM

Well I can tell you right now that it will be picked on.
You can't have an 8 years old shooting and killing like a man. He wouldn't be strong enough. I also doubt he would comprehend team work. He is all together way to young.
If you are going to do this make him 14 to start with. At least at 14 it is believable that he can fight, kill, use team work and carry a gun.

If I were writing this story I would change it a little........

I like the idea of a girl friend dying and not a wife. It relates to modern culture more.

You need to have an inner circle of men around this kid. That way he has a bunch of father figures.

The kid needs an innocent sounding nick name. I like the name critter.
That's what I was known as to my dads flight squadron.

At one point in time I would have one of the guys let the kid try his cigarette. I would have the kid be about 10 or so. This would kind of symbolize how he had an abnormal childhood and how he is being raised as a man instead of a boy.

Make him be forced into fighting. No one in their right mind would take a child along with them to fight.

The whole thing about exposing how corrupted the government is because they have a kid soldier is corny, lose it.
Find something else.

The best way to beat writers block is to take a walk and watch a movie. Steal something from that movie and try and fit it into your book. Now try and change what you have stolen. It will morph and change and it may turn out incredibly different than what you started with.
If you are having trouble with conversations in the book read poems.
If you are having trouble describing things read The Lord of the Rings.
If you are having trouble with jokes start making fun of your work and something will pop up. Works for me.
If you are having trouble with working your characters out into different personalities watch Star Wars and pay close attention to each characters different personality.

Do not plan on writing it over the weekend. I have been writing my book since I was like 4 or so. It started out with paper cut outs that were like spiderman.
Now it has evolved into what I am hoping to be the new science fiction epic. My name, saviorslegacy, comes from the books title, Saviors Legacy.

powg 01-18-2011 08:48 PM

kid soldier
the teen yrs are gonna be a problem can one shoot accurately with hands cramping from severe penile abuse?

Davyboy 01-18-2011 08:58 PM

Ask the Pro
PM Benning one of the most accomplished writers I have had the pleasure reading. A true quillmaster.

saviorslegacy 01-18-2011 09:14 PM


Originally Posted by Davyboy (Post 424704)
PM Benning one of the most accomplished writers I have had the pleasure reading. A true quillmaster.

Is he seriously a writer? Has he ever published before?
If so I have a couple of questions for him.

HenryACR 01-19-2011 03:23 AM

thanks so much guys! i really appreciate all the feedback, and this has certainly been the most helpful subsection of this gun forum. i will take EVERYONE'S advice into account, so thank you all very much for your words of wisdom! im only 16 and i've never written a book before, so every little bit helps.

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