[Dillinger]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT ELECT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?



'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

When Elected, I will give the order for a complete removal of all American Forces from Iraq.

This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 will cease immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER, IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine?

Wrestling with an epidemic?

Call France . Or Germany.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt y ou down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize?

Try something in the EU or maybe China.

I will be ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia.

Thanks for all your "help", comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, Mezamies.

I will be instructing the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.


( Continued )

[Dillinger]

I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets.

You will be given 48 hours to pay those tickets or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2.

Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.

I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around.

Guess where I am going to put 'em?

Yep, border security.


Oh, by the way, the United States will be abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting immediately upon my taking office.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Effective Day 1 of my Administration, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night.'

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

Just a little fun at the World's Expensive... for a change.

JD

[RL357Mag]

This has been around for a while - too bad it hasn't materialized and never will - and while I am not a staunch supporter of the NEA, I made the second to the last sentence into a bumper sticker which I have proudly displayed on my Jeep for two years.

[matt g]

But JD, we'll lose out on so much if we become a separatist nation. In this day and age of a world economy, we will suffer horribly.

[Dillinger]

Originally Posted by matt g

But JD, we'll lose out on so much if we become a separatist nation. In this day and age of a world economy, we will suffer horribly.

I can't help it - I am such an isolationist at heart. LOL

JD

[dunerunner]

JD I think you should run....!! It would give all those here who can't find the moral conscience to vote for McCain someone to write-in!!!

[Dillinger]

Originally Posted by dunerunner

JD I think you should run....!! It would give all those here who can't find the moral conscience to vote for McCain someone to write-in!!!

LOL - Thanks bro - but I don't qualify.... yet....

JD

[dirtysouth]

ILL VOTE FOR THAT GUY!!!! We need a president with some balls and a back bone for once.

[jeffware]

mr dillinger, your words may seem harsh, but facts are what they are. you speak of the truth, and i cannot disagree. thanks, jeff.

[dicky0331]

yup, that's what we need, but we need congress to follow suit as well. otherwise we are dead in the water.....