How To Tell If Your From Massachusetts
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Old 05-29-2009, 05:20 AM   #1
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Default How To Tell If Your From Massachusetts

1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of
the greatest moments in your life.

2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you’re
swearing at him for going too slow.

3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke.

4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid

5. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.

6. You do not recognize the letter “R” as a part of the English
language eva!

7. Your social security number starts with a 0

8. You can actually find your way around Boston.

9. You know what a “regular” coffee is.

10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round.

11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a
Dorchester accent.

12. Springfield is located “way out west.”

13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn’t f lip you the
bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.

14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester,
Billerica, Gloucester, and Haverhill.

15. Anyone you don’t know is a potential idiot until proven
otherwise.

16. Paranoia sets in if you can’t see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS
within eyeshot at all times.

17. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to buy
alcohol.

18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski.

19. You know there’s a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot.

20. You order iced coffee in January

21. You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere

22. You love scorpion bowls.

23. You know what they sell at a Packie.

24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS.

25. You know what First Night is.

26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Sully, Red, Bud or
Seamus.

27. McLobster? McCrap!

28. You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your
high school drinking buddies.

29. Sure there are 6 New England states, but Connecticut really
doesn’t count.

30. You intentionally give wrong directions to tourists, feel bad
when they drive off, but then say to yourself ,”Ah, screw them.”

31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to
drink after last call.

32. You’re sick of the Kennedy’s, but you vote for them anyway.

33. You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line
is not optional

34. The numbers ‘78 and ‘86 make you cringe.

35. You’ve been to Goodtimes before

36. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving
and Independence Day. (…and they DO).

37. You have never been to “Cheers.”

38. The words ‘WICKED’ and ‘GOOD’ go together.

39. You’ve been to Fenway Park several times.

40. You’ve gone to at least one party at U Mass.

41. You own a “Yankees Suck” shirt! or hat.

42. You know what a Frappe is.

43. You’ve been to Hempfest.

44. You know who Frank Averuch is.

45. ADVANCED: You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo the Clown

46. You can complete the following: “Lynn, Lynn…”

47. You get pissed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and
it turns out to be friggin’ Snows.

48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down
to one.

49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he’s right 25% of the time.

50. You never go to “Cape Cod,” you go “down the Cape”.

51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil
than Whitey Bulger.

52. You know who Whitey Bulger is.

53. You went to the Swan Boats, House of Seven Gables, or
Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school

54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted
Williams.

55. You remember Major Mudd.

56. You know what candlepin bowling is

57. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day

58. You know ScollaySquare once stood where Government Center
is.

59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the cooles! t guy around.
Speaking of which…

60. You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town

61. Calling Carrabba’s an “Italian” restaurant is sacrilege

62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your
parents’ attic.

63. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather
dividing line.

64. The only time you’ve been on the Freedom Trail is when
relatives are in town.

65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn’t really that much of a
surprise.

66. You call guys you’ve just met “Chief” or “Boss.”

67. 4:15pm and pitch black out means there’s just 3 more shopping
days until Christmas

68. You know more than one person with the last name Murphy

69. You refer to Savin Hill as “Stab ‘n Kill.”

70. You’ve never eaten at Durgin Park, but recommend it to
tourists.

71. You can’t look at the zip code 02134 without singing it.

72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw
with the rest of the country.

73. 11pm? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloon!

74. 2am? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly’s Roast Beef!

75. 5am? Drunk? It means one thing: You ! wish you had a blanket in
your back seat

76. You know that P-Town isn’t the name of a new rap group.

77. People you don’t like are all “Bastids.”

78. You took school or work off for the Patriots first Super Bowl
Win Parade

79. You’ve called something “wicked pissa.”

80. You’ll always get razzed for Dukakis.

81. Saturday afternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale
Dorman

82. Sunday mornings meant the Three Stooges on Channel 38

83. You’ve slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater

84. No, you don’t trust the Gorton’s Fi! sherm an.

85. You know that Papa Gino’s usually has a jukebox

86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time.

87. Your town has at least 6 sub shops, and none of them are a
Subway.

88. You know at least three Tony’s, one Vinnie and a Frankie.

89. 20 degrees isn’t that bad as long as there’s no wind.

90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden

91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and
the long version of Alice’s Restaurant.

92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was Athah
Feedlah.

93. You know what the Combat Zone is

94. You actually drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in
sales tax

95. You’ve pulled out of a side street and used your car to block
oncoming traffic so you can make a left.

96. You’ve bragged about the money you’ve saved at The Christmas
Tree Shop

97. You’ve been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night

98. Playing street hockey was a daily after school ritual.

99. Hearing an old lady shout “Numbah 96 for Sioux City!” means
it’s time for steak

100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayres,
or Ann & Hope.

101. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other
friends from Massachusetts

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Old 05-29-2009, 12:09 PM   #2
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Default You know you're from California

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

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Old 05-29-2009, 01:13 PM   #3
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Default How to tell if you're frum Arkansas

1. "How 'bout them Hogs" is a common phrase around your house.

2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip".

3. "Vacation" means driving to Hot Springs or maybe even Branson.

4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.

5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example, "Well,
Conway's only 20 minutes away."

6. Up North to you means Missouri.

7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.

8. You know several people who have hit a deer.

9. You think Arkansas is spelled with an "aw" at the end.

10.Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

11.You consider riding a mechanical bull true entertainment!

12.Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

13.You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did you
go to?"

14.You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

15.You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

16.You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

17.You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

18.You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it,
no matter what time of the year.

19.You know in your heart that Arkansas can beat Texas in football.

20.You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:
"Where's my coat at?"

21.All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
animal or grain.

22.You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.

23.You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, catfish, and
Sweet Tea.

24.You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.

25.You went to roller skating parties as a kid.

26.You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ranch and ketchup.

27.You eat dinner at noon and supper at night.

28.You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a T-shirt.

29.The local paper covers national and international headlines in one
column, but requires six pages for sports.

30.You think I-40 is spelled and pronounced "ah fahty".

31.You'll pay for your kids way through college unless they want to go to
UT.

32.You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.

33.You know that you can't get anywhere without going through Little Rock
first.

34.You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the
middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.

35. You know what time to be home for curfew - not because of the law, but
because of the mosquitos!

36.You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

37.You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and
Football.

38.You know if another Arkansan is from the Ozarks, Northern, Central, or
Southern part of AR as soon as they open their mouth.

39.You know that Bill Clinton, Ted Danson's wife, Billy Bob Thorton, and John Grisham are all from Arkansas.

40.You failed World Geography in school because you thought Paris, London,
Bismark & Nashville were cities in Arkansas (& they are!)

41.You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

42.You know what Toad Suck and Booger Holler are.

43.You know a few that have also hit a coyote.

44.You know what Toad Suck and Booger Holler are

45.You've "offered" someone an "ass-whoopin'."

46.When you give directions they include "over yonder," "down the road a piece," and "right near."

47.You know what frog gigging is.

48.You have gone "cow tipping".

49.You don't go to the bottoms by yourself....period.

50.You have more than one gun rack.

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Old 05-29-2009, 02:43 PM   #4
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Default How to know if you're from Indiana

1. Every accident on your driving record is "Deer-Related."

2. You know what FFA and 4H stand for and how to spell them.

3. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day

4. You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner".

5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

6. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."

7. You've heard of Euchre, you know how to play Euchre, and you are the master of Euchre.

8. You know that Bailin' wire was the predecessor to duct tape.

9. High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters.

10. You think nothing of it in spring and fall to be stuck behind a farm implement driving on the roads.

11. You know that strangers are the only ones that come to your "front" door.

12. Kids and dogs ride in the passenger seats of cars and the backs of pickups.

13. You know what the phrase "Knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.

14. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

15. A typical party at your high school consisted of a bunch of people driving trucks into the woods or an empty field, lighting a bonfire, and staring at it while drinking a few beers.

16. You have all the same teachers in high school that your parents had.

17. You know what chip-and-seal is, and your high school was located on just such a road.

18. You know people who own belt buckles with their initials on them. These buckles are the size of a dinner plate.

19. You think that Notre Dame is a college in South Bend, and not a cathedral in France.

20. Wal-mart is the most exciting place in your hometown.

21. The second most exciting place in your home town is the "Square," where they sometimes give rides on the fire truck!

22. Technically, you don't even live in a town.

23. You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival.

24. To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles.

25. Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, whether he is at home or on duty.

26. "Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school.

27. You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years.

28. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1 page, but requires 6 for local sports.

29. You shop at Marsh.

30. Indianapolis is the "big city".

31. The biggest question of your youth was "IU or "Purdue".

32. In the fall, one of your favorite pranks was corning cars.

33. You know what corning is.

34. You took back roads to get there - why sit in traffic?

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Old 05-31-2009, 12:06 AM   #5
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Thank God I'm from CT. People from Mass are just too freakin' wierd (yes there is an R in wierd) The first thread lists 100 reasons why. I rest my case............................markerdown

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Old 05-31-2009, 03:21 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markerdown View Post
Thank God I'm from CT. People from Mass are just too freakin' wierd (yes there is an R in wierd) The first thread lists 100 reasons why. I rest my case............................markerdown
I drove through CT today on my way to NJ for a family party, and apparently anyone can get a drivers license in CT. I almost got in at least 8-10 accidents, saw countless people almost get into accidents, and saw 2 SEVERE accidents on the side of the road. And I'm not over exaggerating, I'm being perfectly sensible as any reasonable driver would.

PEOPLE IN CT CAN NOT DRIVE!!!

no offense markerdown you don't drive a black BMW do you??
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:28 PM   #7
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Ha ha, yeah it was nuts driving back there last summer when I road tripped from Hartford to Oxford MA to visit an AF buddy.

I'm still out in the desert southwest and haven't moved back home yet. Why is it so crazy you ask? Because most of the morons are driving and yakkin or texting on their cell phones and not paying attention!! Why else does a state 200 mi x 80 mi need two area codes?

Oh yeah, I drive a lifted white 2gen dodge 4x4. I'll run over a beamer if I'm given the opportunity. I'm the enigma redneck yankee who flys the stars and bars... oh I forgot that's staaz and baaz in your neck of the woods markerdown

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Old 01-04-2011, 12:40 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dnthmn2004 View Post
I drove through CT today on my way to NJ for a family party, and apparently anyone can get a drivers license in CT. I almost got in at least 8-10 accidents, saw countless people almost get into accidents, and saw 2 SEVERE accidents on the side of the road. And I'm not over exaggerating, I'm being perfectly sensible as any reasonable driver would.

PEOPLE IN CT CAN NOT DRIVE!!!

no offense markerdown you don't drive a black BMW do you??
I got stopped and ticketed by a Conn. state cop for not stopping at a yield sign at a rotary, at five am, with no other cars on the road but mine and the cops.
I asked the cop as he was writting me up "what does yield mean to you sir", he said, "It means yhat you'd better friggin' stop".
When I went to court to answer the complaint, I tried to explain to the judge that in MA, yield means to give on coming traffic the right of way, it didn't mean stop when there's no oncoming traffic, the judge looked at me and said, "well sir, this isn't MA., and when you're in this state, you'll drive according to our laws, $80.00 plus court costs."
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:18 PM   #9
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If you are from Virginia, you are concerned about the failure to secure the borders. NC and DC.

"Ham" means Smithfield.

"Rush Hour" is about 20 minutes (Northern VA excepted)

"Waiting period" for a gun is how log it takes the credit card to be approved.

Deer hunting is considered self defense. (We are overrun with them)

You own a REAL Confederate $50 bill, and note that it is now worth more than a US $50 bill.

You know who Marse Robert was, and consider him to be overdue for sainthood.

You know that the Pilgrims got lost on their way to Virginia, and that Thanksgiving started HERE.

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