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How The Fight Started!

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Old 12-11-2008, 02:38 AM   #1
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Default How The Fight Started!


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the

fight started....

************************************************** *************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.......
And that's how the fight started.

************************************************** *******************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton
your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She
said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she
processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability, too'...... And that's how the fight

************************************************** *******************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'...... And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************** *****************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my
car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked
down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'.......

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************** *******************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He
said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for
herself.'...... And that's how the fight started.....
Century Arms AR-15A2, 5.56
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1978 YUGO SKS, 7.62x39
NEF Protector Pump, 12 gauge
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Old 12-11-2008, 02:15 PM   #2
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Funny stuff.
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”Samuel Adams
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Old 12-11-2008, 02:47 PM   #3
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Good stuff. I like it!
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Old 12-11-2008, 02:49 PM   #4
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i like the last one
"If guns cause crime then all of mine are defective." -Ted Nugent
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Old 12-11-2008, 04:37 PM   #5
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Yes, all funny

Thanks for posting
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