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Old 04-16-2012, 07:27 PM   #11
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Akers,

My wife was also diagnosed with possible cervical cancer in 1998. She had cryo-surgery to remove the suspect cancer and luckily it ended there.

I totally understand what you as a spouse are going through. The best advice I can give to you is to try and keep her positive and like others have said listen to her. I know the stress on my wife was enormous. Have your shoulder ready for a good cry and don't take anything personal if she occasionally lashes out.

Praying for the best for your wife and you.

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Old 04-16-2012, 07:37 PM   #12
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To my (much) younger brother-

First, my prayers for you and your family- prayers for strength and peace.

Second, Women tell us things, not understanding from a GUY standpoint, WE think they are asking us to fix what is wrong. Sometimes they are, but a lot of the time, they want to TELL us what is going on. Learn to sit, open ears, close mouth except to say "Yeah. Uh-huh. " and maybe some assorted "Ummm's and Ahhhs". Let her talk.

Third, there are stages that people go thru when told that they have a serious illness, or are dying. They include disbelief, denial, fear, anger, bargaining, grief, and acceptance. All except the last are in no particular order. Know this and expect them.

If your wife has confidence in her doc, great. If not, find one she does. Be aware that there are lowlife scum that prey upon folks in your wife's condition. They are charlatans that offer hope, but interfere with legit medical care. If you ever hear something like "Reverend Montesque and Sister Maria are so wonderful- they told me I need to quit taking that medicine, and buy their special magnetic wands to draw out the sickness." you will know you have encountered them. Give us a shout- we'll help you move the bodies.

Men and women both may react to a problem with their reproductive organs by feeling they are less of a man- or woman. Talk to any guy that has had prostate cancer. Be sure to tell her you love her, that she is pretty, she is sexy, she is cute. Yeah, she knows that- but she may need to HEAR it. Often.

The path you will be taking has had many earlier travelers. Be sure to talk to them, and get some idea of what is ahead. Yes, referring to support groups. Some of us guys get stupid, decide a real man does not need that sort of thing. Wrong. Even a great infantry commander reads the maps, and listens to the scouts.

And you are going to need someone to vent to- when YOU get mad- when YOU feel neglected, abused, ignored. It can be your priest, a good friend, or any of us here. Do not make it your bartender, or that SO sympathetic divorcée that works with you.

Please understand that this advice comes from someone that is trying his best to care for a wife with a fatal, untreatable illness. It is not easy. It IS part of being a husband.

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Old 04-16-2012, 08:08 PM   #13
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Thanks for all the support everybody....I love this site and how all you guys are there to help me when I need it....


C3shooter
Im sorry to hear about ur wife and thanks for the advice also

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Old 04-16-2012, 08:11 PM   #14
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akers06, my thoughts and prayers are with your wife and you.

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Old 04-16-2012, 08:12 PM   #15
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akers06, my thoughts and prayers are with your wife and you.
Thank you bkt
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:13 PM   #16
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When I found out I had breast cancer I went through all kinds of emotions. I don't know how husband put up with me but he did. He put up with me screaming, crying, fear of dieing. You name it I went through it. Just let her get her emotions out. Don't take anything she says hurtful to heart. She doesn't mean to hurt you, she can't help it. Read up on every thing you can get your hands on about the treatments she'll be having to deal with cervical cancer. Just be there for her cause no matter what she needs you. It's not going to be easy but with time it will get better. Prayers sent.....

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Old 04-16-2012, 08:15 PM   #17
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aker06. I went through this with my girlfriend when I was 21 and she was 20. She had cryo and came out okay. I'll send a prayer your way and if you guys need anything I'm here from a distance, and I'm sure a lot of guys here are too. I can't imagine what she went through, but for me it felt like being punched in the gut. Everyone is different so I can't tell you how to feel or how to act around her. She is young though and if I recall correctly, at least in our case it was easily treatable. People hear cancer and think the worst but it isn't always the worst. Just never give up hope, never lose a positive attitude.

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Old 04-16-2012, 08:16 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wrecked
Akers,

My wife was also diagnosed with possible cervical cancer in 1998. She had cryo-surgery to remove the suspect cancer and luckily it ended there.

I totally understand what you as a spouse are going through. The best advice I can give to you is to try and keep her positive and like others have said listen to her. I know the stress on my wife was enormous. Have your shoulder ready for a good cry and don't take anything personal if she occasionally lashes out.

Praying for the best for your wife and you.
I'm glad everything was ok with your wife and if my wife ends up having it hopefully the surgery will take care of gets also .....thanks for the advice and prayers
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:18 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGO
When I found out I had breast cancer I went through all kinds of emotions. I don't know how husband put up with me but he did. He put up with me screaming, crying, fear of dieing. You name it I went through it. Just let her get her emotions out. Don't take anything she says hurtful to heart. She doesn't mean to hurt you, she can't help it. Read up on every thing you can get your hands on about the treatments she'll be having to deal with cervical cancer. Just be there for her cause no matter what she needs you. It's not going to be easy but with time it will get better. Prayers sent.....
Thanks for the advice and prayers and I hope you got rid of you cancer also
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:20 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mosin
aker06. I went through this with my girlfriend when I was 21 and she was 20. She had cryo and came out okay. I'll send a prayer your way and if you guys need anything I'm here from a distance, and I'm sure a lot of guys here are too. I can't imagine what she went through, but for me it felt like being punched in the gut. Everyone is different so I can't tell you how to feel or how to act around her. She is young though and if I recall correctly, at least in our case it was easily treatable. People hear cancer and think the worst but it isn't always the worst. Just never give up hope, never lose a positive attitude.
Thanks man and yea I just feel like somebody has taken my breathe from me. I want to be there for her and do everything I can for her and not show her I'm scared also bc I would go crazy if I lost her
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