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hogger129 09-08-2009 12:42 AM

How?
 
How does a guy gain more confidence with women? I have been wondering why I remain single. It's not because I am dumb or ugly or anything like that. I think it's because I lack confidence. Anybody have any advice to help me out?

I think a large part of it is I don't do what I want. I always worry about what others think. Just as with owning a gun. I'm always worried that someone like my parents will say no. I know there are people out there that face the same problem(s) that I do. So anybody that can give some kind words of wisdom, that would largely be appreciated.

IGETEVEN 09-08-2009 12:50 AM

Hogger move out from parents house for starters and get out on your own. Bringing some hot date home to your parent's house kind of spoils the heat of passion and excitement there son for most women your age looking for financial security and maturity in a perspective partner. Drunk one-night stands don't count. :)

Jack

skullcrusher 09-08-2009 01:02 AM

Confidence is a big part of it. When you enter a room, you own it.

A big help for many people is living on their own. No adult person male or female wants to have to deal with their partner's parents at the end of the date.

"I live with my parents" translates into "loser" to the female mind. They are looking for nesters and breeders, not mamma's boys. Manliness flies out the window when it is not your window.

Also, act like you don't care if they like you when you first meet them. Don't talk about yourself or how 'manly' you are. Women like to laugh and feel safe. Be funny and strong. Flirt like it is a game, not an end. Compliment women on their smarts, humor and style. Save the 'you are hot' for the bedroom. Let it flow as naturally as you can. It should be natural.

Learn these phrases:

"You are so smart."
"You are funny, I think we have the same sense of humor." (only if you do)
"That outfit is awesome. I can't match a shirt with a pair of shorts to save my life."
"Wanna come over to my place for dinner?"

Of course, I am a 40 year old virgin who vomits at the sight of a hot female. Wait, I am a 40 year old virgin woman who is afraid of letting people see my pretty face so I let my bangs grow and I wear my glasses instead of my contacts and I like the baggy clothes so nobody will judge me based on what the media thinks is attractive for women in today's society.

WDB 09-08-2009 01:14 AM

First understand if a girl says no when you ask her out you won't die, it will sting a little but if you don't ask a girl out your destin to be alone a very long time. It's a small risk considering the possible out come if she says yes. Even if she says no, there are plenty more girls to ask out.

Second be less concerned with others think and more concerned with what you think. When it comes to your life your opinion is the most important. Alway consider advice given but keep in mind it's just advice and not an order.

Third don't be afraid of making a mistake, the only people who never make a mistake are people that never try and in my opinion that is a big mistake. Screwing up is how we learn and build personality. Stepping out of your comfort zone is how you grow as a person and no matter your age it's something you should do on a regular basis.

Last if your close to your Dad, grab him and talk to him about this. Believe it or not he was your age once.

Good luck

Gojubrian 09-08-2009 01:22 AM

More than likely there are girls that like you in your social circles. At work, school, weekend activities,whatever. Maybe you don't like them or are not attracted to them, but they're out there.

Quit trying so hard and just be you. Treat people right and don't be a butthole to anyone. Girls will take notice and if they don't respect you for that then let them end up with the cheating wifebeaters.

You don't want just any girl, you want the right kind of girl, the right girl for you. Unless you jut want to be some sort of man-whore, then I have no advice for you. :rolleyes:

kablooie 09-08-2009 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IGETEVEN (Post 156619)
Hogger move out from parents house for starters and get out on your own. Bringing some hot date home to your parent's house kind of spoils the heat of passion and excitement there son for most women your age looking for financial security and maturity in a perspective partner. Drunk one-night stands don't count. :)

Jack

Ditto for starters.... If you can't afford it, then share a place with some buddy(s). If that still won't cut it, then it may be time to move somewhere else, translated as cheaper. Or get another job for a while... Christmas season is coming.

Living on YOUR own for a while will definitely help you feel more confident and independent. Important to have a good foundation for your future. HTH.

skullcrusher 09-08-2009 01:57 AM

While I respect every member's opinion, I gotta run with the shag-a-lot. Forget that you live with your parents. Find the wildest and loudest bar skank you can find and bring her home. Use the back entrance...

That is exactly what you need for your parents to finally say, "Move out." Maybe just the thing that will get you going. Then, you buy that pistol on your own as a man.

kablooie 09-08-2009 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gojubrian (Post 156631)
...
You don't want just any girl, you want the right kind of girl, the right girl for you. ...

Ditto again. I told my wife when we started dating... "I don't want this to be another dead-end relationship and waste time/money if we're not going to be serious." She agreed and we're still together (this month is 10 years).

Another important piece of advice... MAKE DECISIONS, informed decisions and stand behind them. Don't *always* be compliant but have just enough rebellion to stand for what you believe in. I know the ladies dig that (as long as it something that makes sense, lol).

skullcrusher 09-08-2009 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kablooie (Post 156654)
Ditto again. I told my wife when we started dating... "I don't want this to be another dead-end relationship and waste time/money if we're not going to be serious." She agreed and we're still together (this month is 10 years).

Another important piece of advice... MAKE DECISIONS, informed decisions and stand behind them. Don't *always* be compliant but have just enough rebellion to stand for what you believe in. I know the ladies dig that (as long as it something that makes sense, lol).

*bowing and shaking head while mumbling to self, 'rookies'*

canebrake 09-08-2009 02:30 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Attachment 5771

I know I don't have an account on eHarmony!

Did I log on to the wrong forum??

Go buy a gun, a big gun!


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