Hide in plain sight
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry !!!" she said to her lover, "Stand in the corner."
Then she rubbed baby oil all over him, and then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you." she said, "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room and saw the "statue".
"Oh, it's a statue." the wife said. "The Smiths bought one and I liked it, so I got one for us too."
Nothing more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2am, the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here", he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for 2 days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."
"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway
“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.”