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09-08-2009, 08:53 PM
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#1
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Kostriker
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Location: Albuquerque
Posts: 4,260
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Happy Time!
Kick Me Int The Ass!
Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine
Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists
told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded
and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of
fried chicken.'
The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken.
Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'
Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York , so I'd like to hear the song,
The Moon and Me, one last time.'
The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western
world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played
the song.
Gibson was satisfied.
Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape
recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe,
someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.'
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams
dictated his comments.
He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'
The leader turned and said, 'And now, Mr.. U.S. Marine, what is your final
wish?
'Kick me in the ass,' said the Marine.
'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'
'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from
inside his cammies and shot the leader dead.
In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then
with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took,
sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11.
In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why
didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to
kick you in the ass?'
'What?' replied the Marine, 'and have you three ass holes report that I was
the aggressor.....?
Semper Fi!
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09-08-2009, 09:03 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 3,252
Liked 939 Times on 592 Posts
Likes Given: 2115
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LOL thats a good one!
__________________
“Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it’s realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy.”
---Ron Paul
"He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetuate it."
---Dr. Martin Luther King
"If you think we are free today, you know nothing about tyranny and even less about freedom."
---Tom Braun
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09-08-2009, 09:07 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,437
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts
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Ha. Nice. I shall move it to the appropriate forum
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09-08-2009, 10:13 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: I see you, and you will not know when I will strike
Posts: 24,301
Liked 3450 Times on 1596 Posts
Likes Given: 3590
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LOL - That's awesome. Got to love Uncle Sam's Misguided Children, they always bring the lulz. 
JD
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09-08-2009, 10:38 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 44
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Thats great! And how true it would be!
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09-08-2009, 10:41 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 93
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What kind of Marine carries a 9mm?
Aww nuts, i'm going to get it for that comment...
__________________
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte
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09-09-2009, 12:06 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 19,865
Liked 1162 Times on 504 Posts
Likes Given: 2940
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Are you sure it wasn't a 1911A1 Colt?
__________________
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” ― Samuel Adams
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09-09-2009, 11:43 AM
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#8
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Moderator
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Location: Maiden,NC
Posts: 9,663
Liked 75 Times on 50 Posts
Likes Given: 5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moss99
What kind of Marine carries a 9mm?
Aww nuts, i'm going to get it for that comment...
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Yes you are......
Good one bigcountry!
__________________
If the pain is lacking so is the discipline...
"the only 911 call I need is chambering a round" - Mr. Muller, MO car dealer
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09-10-2009, 01:27 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Nonya,WA
Posts: 3,991
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts
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Good one, thanks for the grin.
__________________
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~ Thomas Jefferson
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benning Boy
If you're really bored, I'm your huckleberry. If you really want a challenge, I'm the one.
If you're really smart, you'll just peddle your paint.
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