Gunshop/Range quotes
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:33 AM   #1
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Default Gunshop/Range quotes

Found this pretty funny thread on Brian Enos' forum...hard to believe how clueless some people can be...how the hell did they get jobs? in gunshops?

And sometimes it's good to live where a bit of basic instruction/safety tests are compulsory lol


Collection of some of the better examples:


"A 22 magnum is a centerfire while a LR is rimfire."



"That competition stuff will get you killed"



"You can tell that one was made in England--see here? it says .22 HMR right on the barrel--that stands for Her Majesty's Rifle."



Standing at the gun counter of a large sporting goods retailer. (now closed)

Me: "Do you have any Kahr magazines in the back? I don't see any on the shelf."
Clerk: "Sir, this is the gun department. We don't have any car magazines."
Me: ?
Clerk: "You can check in the magazine rack up front but I don't know if we sell any car magazines."
Me: "No. I mean magazines for a Kahr 9mm pistol"
Clerk: ?
Me: You know? The detachable part of the gun where the ammunition is usually held?"
Clerk: "Oh! You mean clips."
Me: "Never mind. I'll go home and order online."



Clerk who was carrying a compensated glock with JP site on rear site.
I saw the gun on his belt and asked where he shot IPSC or USPSA.
Clerk: I don't shoot that stuff.
Me: Oh OK well I was just wondering got a pretty good looking open gun.
Clerk: This here is a race gun.
Me: I know that is why I thought you shot IPSC or USPSA.
Clerk: I don't know even what you are talking about.
Me: Oh well we run around a scenario and shoot paper, reactive and steel targets.
Clerk: Man you can get killed running with a gun...
Me: yeah well just the same as you putting that gun hot into a holster you just never know what could happen.
Clerk: It ain't hot see just touch it...
Me:
Clerk: So is there anything I can show you.
Me: Nah I am good do you have any one here that knows about guns?



"You can shoot a guy in the arm with an M16 and it will kill him because the gun was designed to shoot a tumbling bullet. It turns end over end as it flies, that's why the army uses them. They're deadly."



A guy is at big box sporting goods store counter next to me buying a shotgun for home defense.
Clerk: "Just make sure to keep your eyes shut when you pull the trigger indoors or you'll go blind."



I helped with our local "sight in days" a few years ago. It's a day for out of state hunter's to make sure they're rifles are sighted in for deer season. One fellow showed up with a very fine rifle (read expensive) and was nice enough to tell us all about it. He shot two boxes of shells at a 100 yard target. Not only did he not hit the target, he didn't hit the giant "backing board" that you tack targets to. He said, "That's close enough" and left.



I think the single funniest thing that I have seen at a public range is as follows...... I am at a public indoor range shooting, and this guy comes to the stall next to mine. His lady is with him as well. He hangs up this full size target of a Bad Guy pointing a gun at you, one of the real picture versions and sets it out about 10 yards. He unloads a magazine into the body of it and the group looks like a shotgun blast with hits all over the place. Then he loads another mag and says to his lady "Watch me shoot his eyes out". He proceeds to fire 4 - 5 rounds and they are NOWHERE close to the head, much less the eyes. So he pulls the target carrier back to 5 yards and tries again. 4 - 5 rounds later he is getting close to the head but still not there. He pulls the target carrier back to about 3 yards and tries again. He is now getting hits on the head but the eyes are still there unscathed. Frustrated he pulls the target carrier back to about 2 feet from the muzzle of the gun and tires again and now is hitting right below the eyes but still not the actual eye balls. In complete frustration and rage he tears down the target, throws his still loaded pistol into his gun bag and storms out of the range making comments like "That darn piece of crap gun, you cant hit anything with it!!!" Then his lady says "I hope you never have to use that thing to protect us or we are in trouble"



Guy behind the counter to a customer holding a handgun: "HEY!!! Make sure you check that guns port before you point it at anyone in here!!!"



"Reloading is dangerous. One primer goes off and sets off all that powder, then BOOM, you're splattered everywhere."



Customer: I want to buy a shotgun for home defense.
Clerk: Well, I have a good lightly used short barrel pump if you'd like to look at that.
Customer: No, I want a new one and I want an automatic. Something that shoots real fast.
Clerk: Well, that's going to be more difficult because we don't have any short barreled semi-auto shotguns.
Customer: Can you order one for me.
Clerk: I'll have to check and see what I can find.
Customer: While you're looking, see if you can find one with sights, most of the ones I've seen just have a puny little gold bead. And I want one with one of those things on the end of the barrel with the vents in it.
Clerk: You mean a compensator?
Customer: Yah, I have a friend who works for some defense contractor and he told me that's what I should get - a semi-automatic gun with a compensator.
Clerk: Did he tell you to get a shotgun?
Customer: No, he was talking about a pistol but I don't like pistols, I want a shotgun.



One morning the phone rang at Great Western Outfitters in Ridgecrest, Calif., and Bobby Kinstle picked it up. "Can I help you?" he asked. "Yes," said a fellow on the other end, "I understand you're having a sale on your riot shotguns, but I don't quite understand. Is a riot shotgun a pistol or a revolver?" Bobby answered, "Most riot shotguns operate with a pump action." "Umm ... so what caliber is it?" "Shotguns aren't classified by caliber. They are grouped in gauges." "Okay, what size bullet does it shoot?" "A shotgun doesn't fire a bullet, it fires a charge of shot." After a moment of confused silence, the customer asked again: "So, is it a pistol or a revolver?" Bobby, said, "It's like a rifle, not a handgun, and it's got a big hole in the end that shoots lots of small bullets all at once instead of just one big bullet." "Hey, that sounds great," the customer said. "I'll come right in."



I was in a local shop looking for some AR accessories for a gun I was building and saw they had 2 boxes of Barrett Factory 50 BMG ammo. I was running low and had a few extra dollars in my pocket so I picked them up. They guy checking me out I would guess about 22ish said "Man the 50 BMG is such an awesome round and has so much energy the bullet does not even have to hit you. If it passes close enough to you it can take your arm off!'" I was able to hold back the laughter but the grin on my face had to give me away.

This is the same guy about a year earlier I walked in and they had a M82A1 CQ with the 20" barrel. I asked him if they could get one in the standard 29" length. His response was why not just by this one. It is way better. So I asked how is cutting off 9" of barrel and losing about 300 FPS on a long range rifle better? His response was it was a better CQB weapon and that you could get in and out of rooms and doorways with it. I let him know that no on in there right mind would room clear with a 50 BMG and me living in a non combat zone, nor being in the military that CQB work was not part of my usual activites. No real response. He tried to rattle off a few of the specs which were WRONG as per the Barrett Web Page. I was in the market at the time and had them memorized. Anyway pretty much turned me off to that shop and havent been back but a few times. He no longer works there.



"Glocks are designed so you clear a squib by just firing the next round. It was an Austrian Army requirement."



OMG is all that suffices...


Can't provide any of my own, wondered if any of the members here have some memorable stuff they've [over]heared

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Old 06-29-2010, 11:16 AM   #2
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The sad thing is, most of those people actually own guns. Scary thought...

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Old 06-29-2010, 03:24 PM   #3
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Couple of Darwin Award candidates in that bunch for sure.

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