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Tackleberry1 02-15-2012 06:26 PM

Gun Breeding
I bought my first gun back in 1996. Received my tax return and tripped across a Colt 1991 A1 with after market night sights. Shortly there after I acquired a Mossberg 12 G and a Russian SKS from 2 different fellow soldiers, one getting married, the other getting divorced. I'm beginning to think the manner I'm which I acquired those first 2 long guns did something funky to my safe because the guns seem to have began breeding of there own accord?

First indication was the arrival of a Kimber Pro II. This confused me because I'd never noticed the Colt gaining any weight but I figured some ladies hide thier condition better than others and after all, that Colt did spend several weeks in a Tacoma gun shop just laying around more than a few eligible bachelors.

Next to show up were 3 different shotguns! A Remi Semi auto, a strange OU with what I'm sure is a Chec accent, and a Winchester 20 G? That original Mossy did come from a broken home and in hindsight she always did look a little slutty but I figured hey, there still cheaper than children and more fun too so why get upset, right? It was about this time that I purchased a Sig 226 and an S&W 629. This is where things went de-ja-vo all over again! That 629 must have been expecting when I brought her home because within a week I found the cutest little Ruger SP101 .357 Mag nestled into the adjacent door holster, cuddling with her .44 mag mommy...

and I'm not sure who knocked up that Sig but 9 months later an XD .45 appeared out thin air. I've detected a very slight Chec accent on this pistol so I suspect that foreign OU 12 G had his way with my little precious Sig.

Since all this went down I've discovered a SS CZ75B, "those damn Chec's are prolific little breeders" and a little Kahr PM 9? The XD DENIES IT but come on...Polly frame? Striker fired? The resembelance is just to much to reach any other conclusion.

This is just the highlites of MY experience. What started with that 1 Colt some 16 years ago has multiplied into an inbred family of 18 and frankly, I'm having trouble feeding all of these hungry mouths. I've never heard of firearm contraception but know there are many here with far more knowledge than I so I thought I'd explain the situation and ask for your guys advice.

I did have one 12G run off on me a few years ago...a pretty little Winchester Weatherby who left me for my older brother. He must give good silicone cloth wipe downs or something because the joker does not even own a safe. I mean come on, ladies don't just run of for a guy who can't keep a roof over her head unless he's giving her a little something extra...;) right?

Anywho, it's been quite therapeutic for me to share my gun owning woes with all of you. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and would welcome any advice.

Signed, "too many mouths to feed" Tack

Trez 02-15-2012 06:51 PM

Just be glad theres no "Gun Protective Services" to come take them when you cant feed them.... :p
Damn SKS's, the "gateway" gun! It was my first gun and ever since ive had this expensive habit that seems to be getting worse! Next was the Mosin, and now im "jonesing" for a Dragunov...

LONGHAIR 02-15-2012 08:05 PM

Gun Condoms.....Breed a German Mowzzer with a Ruger.380 and what do you get ???.....:confused:............

texaswoodworker 02-15-2012 08:14 PM

My guns are breeding too. My Remington is prego and the gunsmith said it's going to be a SKS. It's due any week now. I'm starting to think my old 16 ga sxs is pregnant too. We're hoping for a Nagant revolver. :D

c3shooter 02-15-2012 08:16 PM

Hah! You think YOU have it bad- Mossberg 22s have rabbit genes!:p

Tackleberry1 02-15-2012 08:28 PM


Originally Posted by c3shooter (Post 709624)
Hah! You think YOU have it bad- Mossberg 22s have rabbit genes!:p

Yeah C3, I've noticed the poor "less expensive" guns tend to breed more prolifically that the rich "expensive" ones.

Kind of like people that way...

Oh, and I have 4 kids. Thought I'd better throw that in before being accused of snobbery.:)


Chainfire 02-15-2012 08:51 PM

There is nothing more dangerous than an affair with a Mosin Nagant. I haven't been able to build racks fast enough for them. They are eating me out of house and home, but at least they feed cheaply.....

Tackleberry1 02-15-2012 09:26 PM


Originally Posted by LONGHAIR (Post 709608)
Gun Condoms.....Breed a German Mowzzer with a Ruger.380 and what do you get ???.....:confused:............

Well lest see, with that lineage it would be:
Somewhat bulky/ugly
Probably suffer from little mans syndrome
...and have self esteem issues

I'm guessing you'd wind up with a Hi Point 9 mm...

Better keep them two separated


MrWray 02-15-2012 10:18 PM

Use barrel plugs and keep the actions closed, that would help :-)

LONGHAIR 02-16-2012 12:34 AM

I walked in on my pepper-spray bumpin ugly's with my tazzer-gun....I was so shocked that my eye's burnt....Ha..Ha...Get-It......:D......

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