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cnorman18 08-23-2007 06:26 PM

Good one
 
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a custom 1911, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Cor-Bon hollowpoints?"

Taxpayer 08-23-2007 06:36 PM

I was told that the main difference in D's and R's was that the D's will drive us over a cliff as fast as they can and the R's will drive us over a cliff at the speed limit.

bkt 08-23-2007 07:39 PM

I must be a Southern Republican from New York. Because the Republicans up here are not all that different from the democrats you describe.

allmons 08-23-2007 08:11 PM

Well, BKT, we call them RINO's here in the south.
 
They are really democrats, but they think they have a better chance of being elected if they pretend to be republicans. I despise RINO's more than democrats. At least the democrats are proud of being totally insane, and don't try to hide it.

:mad:

pioneer461 08-23-2007 09:15 PM

Good one
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by allmons (Post 7117)
They are really democrats, but they think they have a better chance of being elected if they pretend to be republicans. I despise RINO's more than democrats. At least the democrats are proud of being totally insane, and don't try to hide it.

YGTR! New Yorkers have Guilliani and Bloomberg, we Oregonians have Senator Gordon Smith.:mad:


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