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Benning Boy 03-24-2011 01:11 PM

Future Shows that RULE!!!!
The following thread will contain offensive language and imagery.

Reader discretion is advised.

Hi! Dana White here.

I'm taking you on a sneak preview of shows currently under development to counteract the f****** s****y shows mentioned in that other thread.

Join me as I lock some f***** hardcore guys from a f****** gun forum in the nurturing of shows that men REALLY want to see.

Benning Boy 03-24-2011 01:20 PM

"The Biggest Winner"

Take 10 anorexic women. Feed em.

Watch as they f******* plump up, like a packet of sea monkeys coming to life.

See a panel of these f****** guys critique, foster and evetually cure these women.

Sasha takes to the scales. On day one, her bikini was falling off, as she was 68 pounds, and felt like she was still fat.

Two weeks of Peanut Butter M&Ms, and she's a buck eighty.

Dillinger: "How you feeling, Sasha?"

Sasha: "I feel obese. I don't like myself."

Tango: "I don't care if you like yourself. I like you. I'd **** the snot out of you right now. In fact, I think I will! Come here, girl! Tango's gonna rock your guts!"

Sasha wipes a tear, smiles. "Really?"

Watch the healing begin this fall......

Benning Boy 03-24-2011 01:28 PM

"Ice Road Tree Fellers"

A f****** show guaranteed to captivate guys like Cane, and all you other f*****s that spent the winter in 70 degree plus misery, see how the rest of us live.

You're a Northern guy. It's 4 degrees outside, and the foot of snow you were supposed to get is two feet. A tree branch has fallen on your cable, and the f****** cable company can't get up that hill.

Like a giant Nordic God, you head out to the car. You drive to Lowes, you get you a tree pruner. The little queer behind the register shakes his head sadly in his little blue apron as you head out the door to do battle with twisted bark, cable, and power lines, all in a wind chill of -20.

Yeah, for some of us, this is a yearly thing.

See man defy Nature herself, armed with a 30 foot pole with a saw on the end, this fall....

Benning Boy 03-24-2011 01:32 PM

"The Deadliest Catch-Military Edition"

You watched those f***** guys float around on the ocean, trying to catch crabs.

Sailors know how to do it effectively.

See guys who've spent 6 months on a f****** boat pull into Thailand, and get a 3 day liberty. See how many crabs they pull in.

Watch them navigate vicious pimps, lady boys, and the Bangkock PD in search of......The Itchiest Catch.

Benning Boy 03-24-2011 01:41 PM

"The Economy featuring Jon Stewart"

Watch as we fire Jon Stewart, then follow him as he tries to get a real job in an Obama economy.

Watch as two and a half years of nut nuzzling the Prez means diddly squat as the harsh reality that the rest of us face drops the soap and asks Jon to pick it up.

See Jon getting fitted for his Mickey Dee uniform, and answering to his younger, hipper manager, Tosh.

This f****** fall.

Benning Boy 03-24-2011 01:56 PM

"The Ultimate Survivor"

I ask guys all the time. "Do you want to be a f****** fighter?"

The last 3 seasons, I've been left wondering.

I'll know now.

No more cushy house. No more free booze. No deluxe gym.

One dirty island. Five days without food. One steak hanging from a tree. The winner eats.

Coaches Tank Abbot and Cabbage Carrera.

This fall......

Benning Boy 03-24-2011 02:16 PM


Some of you f***** guys like "The Office". Some of you like "Gangland".

I say save time. Watch both.

"Gangland" warns you that gangs you never heard of are growing and coming to your town.

B****s don't know there's already an office in your town.

Marty "Spreadsheet" Feldstein is the leader of "The Staples Crew". He's ramping up for an upcoming softball game against rival gang "The Officemax Vatos".

"Okay, so the H.R., Darla "Bulletinboard" Jones posted a sign up sheet, but none of you esseys is on board. What's up, locos?"

Marty's chief personnel officer, Viday, speaks up. "Marty, the fellas would like uniforms. Maybe we could wear Kiss style make up, too, you know, like in "The Warriors".

The break room buzzes with nods.

Marty keeps his pimp hand strong. "Alright. Tell the receptionist to dip into petty cash, and check the styrofoam cups marked "coffee fund". We'll get uniforms."

The break room erupts as the carpal tunnel gangsign is thrown up, this fall.....

Benning Boy 03-24-2011 02:25 PM


Okay, I'll stop now......:o

Dillinger 03-24-2011 02:43 PM

That generated two thumbs up from me. LMAO!! Some of those would definite MUST WATCH TV.

I have to think to be able to compete at this level.

cpttango30 03-24-2011 03:18 PM

What about a new modern shartfoo tv show.

Where I travel around the country looking for douche bags and kid touchers and kicking the living crap out of them all while taking you on a epic journey of fast food eateries.

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