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Old 07-31-2012, 02:51 AM   #161
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Bassho if your ever murdered in your sleep and the police happen to read this Susan will be an instant suspect

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Old 07-31-2012, 07:23 AM   #162
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.........

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Old 07-31-2012, 12:05 PM   #163
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In our younger days a buddy and I went on a deer hunting trip every November. We used a pop-up camper, would set-up a day or two before the season began, and would stay out for a week (or until we filled our tags). On our way to where we were to hunt we would always stop for a big bag of White Castles and spend the evening grossing each other out with the tunes we'd play. And heaven help the one who went to sleep first, he would wake up then next morning with freckles!!!
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Old 07-31-2012, 12:49 PM   #164
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OK...19+ years ago I am with a girl I have been dating for about a week. We had just finished dinner and were leaving to meet her parents for the first time. Being the gentleman I am, I opened her car door to let her in. After she was safely concealed in the car, I decide to let go of some gas while walking around to the driver's side. I proceeded to open the door and enter the car. As I bent down to get in, a second fart ripped out louder than the first. This girl instantly busted out laughing. Luckily she has three brothers and this was not new territory for her. The rest of the night went great now that the ice was totally broken. We never were apart from then on and have been happily married for more than 17 years.

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Old 07-31-2012, 01:02 PM   #165
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My mother convinced my brother when he was young that girls don't fart. He was married for about a month and we were all at my mother's house sitting around the table chit chatting and his wife farted. His jaw dropped and he looked at her and then everyone else in the room practically with tears in his eyes. You could see it in his face that he was thinking he married a transsexual. He asked his wife "what was that?" She simply said "I farted" He glanced around the room and said "But, but, girls don't fart." We all started laughing uncontrollably and the look of terror returned to his face. He didn't settle down until everyone in the room assured him that everyone farts.
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:33 PM   #166
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Ok so alot of you all know i was shot in the stomach. And because of this i have alot of problems with my digestive system. Farting being one of these problems. One of my friends told me the grim reaper crawled out of my ass and raped his nose with an acid covered condom on it was that bad. This being said i love crop dusting. You go to walmart and fart in one isle and go hang out in the next one and just listen to the people dying. People that have little kids with them are the best cause they are like eeeewwwww mommy whats that smell. Hahahahaha

2nd story me and my buddy mikey were outside smoking standing under the overhang because it was raining and we had been drinking and again because of my stomach i get drunk off of two beers now so he is still sobberish and im hammered he drops his lighter and he bends down to pick it up the same time i rip ass. Beer farts are bad and his mouth was open he threw up every where and was so mad i couldnt stop laughing
He laughs at it now but he didnt think it was funny then.
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Old 07-31-2012, 02:31 PM   #167
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Quote:
Originally Posted by woody63m View Post
Farting being one of these problems.
I beg to differ, I believe farting is proof that God want us to laugh at ourselves
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