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Old 09-16-2010, 10:05 PM   #1
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Default Funny Fart Stories...

OK, we all have a funny fart stories, maybe a bunch of them. I think farts are funny as well...crap. Tell your funny fart stories please.

#1 for me:

I was in the ninth grade. I rode the school bus to school. When the bus arrived I exited and headed for the door to the school. Somehow I managed to walk in alone, the whole hallway was mine. I had to fart so I did and kept walking. About 20 feet or so later I heard the following conversation between two guys:

"Damn, you farted!"
"NO I didn't, you did"
Ahhhh, man it stinks get away from me"

I'll share another later.

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Old 09-16-2010, 11:50 PM   #2
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I was 16, just dropped this HOT girl off from our date. I was driving my dad's truck and I had no more then gotten back in(a gentleman walks a lady to the door) when an evening of holding them in hit me. A rumble in the belly and some pressure....I let one rip that could cause a title wave!!
I didn't have 2 seconds to enjoy my relief when I looked up and saw said hottie walking towards the truck!
Now, I had just let the bandit loose and one wif of the air told me it was going to be bad. Not bad in that it kinda stinks, bad in like I need to crack a window before I pass out.
What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!? Crank the window and hope it fades fast? Jump out and hope it doesn't follow you?
Plan A took affect. I never cranked a window so hard in my life!!! She smiled and said she forgot her key, gave me a kiss (the real reason for her return) and went around to the back door.
I checked the air and the gamble paid off...it was a fast fader. We dated for a year after that.

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Old 09-17-2010, 12:04 AM   #3
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Every time I fart it is funny well to me at least.

OK So I am at work (Elementary School) My office at the time was in the library. So I had to poop real bad Breakfast didn't agree with me and I was making a bathroom run when one Decided to sneak out as I rounded the corner out the back door of the library to my favorite pooping bathroom. I headed off fast because it was coming and coming fast. So I make it to the bathroom and take care of business. I wash up and head back to my office and I get in the library There was a kid at the table next to the corner I farted at. He was getting in trouble for pooping his pants. I felt so bad but was laughing so hard on the inside. I still feel bad but it was funny.

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Old 09-17-2010, 12:13 AM   #4
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A friend and me worked at a beer drive through in Cincinnati Ohio. A little while after smoking a couple lefty's (this was a long time ago) behind the beer cases and some mexican food we went back to work. THe bell rang and my friend went to get their order, bent over to see the car load of really hot girls and cut the loudest fart I ever heard! Now I understand that we where a little on the happy side so the fart wouldhave been funny anyway. Especially with a car load of hot girls right there but he got this really odd look in his eye and run off. After we all got done laughing I got their stuff and they where off to go do things hot girls do. I went into the office to laugh at my friend that had literally blew it with the girls. He was nowhere to be seen. I yell hey Pat! Where thew hell you go! It was just one car of chicks..Don't let it get to you. Well..I hear him reply...I wish that was all there was to it.
It seemed he did more than cut one. He crapped himself!! I had to call someone to bring him some clean pants.

Sadly for him the story of his crappy service got out and about once an hour or more someone would come in and say something to him like "Don't get shi__y with me mister!" or "man what crappy service here". He ended up quitting to work somewhere else.

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Old 09-17-2010, 12:20 AM   #5
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I had another friend that liked to go into department stores where those racks clothes..you know..Those round racks. He's climb in and leave the creeping death and crawl out. It wouldn't have been as bad but he had to do it in women's clothes racks. Just so he could see the look on their faces. And man there where looks. WE would be at some store and he would say..Come on! and take off. We all knew what woulkd happen next. A silent but deadly and creep away to a safe distance to shop for his sister..yeah-right!

I have to say it was really funny when we where 10-12 years old.

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Old 09-17-2010, 12:24 AM   #6
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Those were all funny as heck!

We were in the NC Mountains with some friends riding the Blue Ridge Parkway in one car, a Suburban. All of a sudden like I knew I was going to have to crap pretty soon. So this fart started building up, one of those real powerful feeling painful farts, right as we stopped at a lookout point. I quickly stepped out of the truck, shut my door, and farted before anyone would know. lucky for me it was strong but silent.

When I turned around, like 3 seconds later, all the windows were down and everyone inside was gasping for air. I let go a little too soon. Cat was out of the bag and we started looking for a place for me to crap...no one wanted to get farted on again.

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Old 09-17-2010, 12:29 AM   #7
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That's good comedy there!

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Old 09-17-2010, 01:04 AM   #8
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I remembered another.....

I'm working in a wharehouse, a large wharehouse, maybe 100ft from one corrner to the other. It's completely empty but the HVAC is up and running. My friend has been fighting killer gas all week. He lets one go and keeps doing his thing...in a corner 100ft away. about 30 seconds later, I look at his brother who is next to me and he gives me the same look as if to say, "did you just crap your pants?"....We turn around and see his uncle(in another corner) looking at us like he was going to gag and a laberer in the oposite corner giving us the same look. We see my friend 100ft away laughing his butt off becuase he know what has happen.
He was right in front of the pick up and the HVAC ran his rancid fart thru the warehouse and shared it with all of us.

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Old 09-17-2010, 05:24 AM   #9
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A friend of mine used to have super duper, peel the paint of the truck farts all the time. We would be shopping and all of the sudden she would make a quick turn. It only took one time walking into the green cloud before I caught on. When her father passed away, I went to the funeral with her and some family and friends in her truck, a Crew-cab Chevy 1-ton, there were a total of 6 of us in the truck, she was in front, in the center and I was in the rear driver's side, her 70+ Aunt was in the rear middle. On the way from the church to the cemetary, she let this major silent but deadly go. Her poor aunt started turning green. I opened the window but it was one that was so bad that it didn't want to dissapate. It was very hard not to bust out laughing. She finally figured out that it was dairy and anything carbonated that gave her such bad gas. She no longer drinks sodas or beer and has very little dairy, it is much easier to be around her now.

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Old 09-17-2010, 05:32 AM   #10
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My eyes are watering from reading these....

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