FTF Twas the night before christmas. - Page 3
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Old 12-05-2009, 09:28 PM   #21
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"Outstanding" JD, very well done my friend, very well done!



Jack
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Old 12-05-2009, 09:29 PM   #22
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Thank you Sir!

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Old 12-05-2009, 11:19 PM   #23
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Oh hell, we ain't finished yet the best is to come
As Santa regroups cause he ain’t no bum

For Santa's no wimp to go out with a clatter
He’s called in the Elves to assault in that matter

The elves attack with tank and chopper
Tango’s Jeep is so screwed he bails with a holler.

Now out on the snow all littered with dead
The dog, the babes and elves all filled with lead

JD and Tango, Skull and Shootergirl are backed to the wall
As Santa yells Dash away, dash away, dash away all

As Santa fly’s away in the night
I’ll get you next year AssHo*es so preopare for the fight.

Merry F*cking Christmas

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Old 12-05-2009, 11:41 PM   #24
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Not exactly how I pictured this thread but dam men this is great. My wife is getting tired of hearing me belly laugh but it is great.

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Old 12-05-2009, 11:53 PM   #25
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“Not on my watch you fat sloppy douche”
Tango looked around for what he would use as his noose.

Seeing the stock of JD’s new Lawton
Judging by Range Reports he knew it was shot often

He grabbed it with the swiftness, impressed by the weight
Not having to worry about mirage as the fat man took the bait

Wiping blood and teeth from his beard Santa felt like pure hell
One thing was certain that little Tango bastard had flat rung his bell

Elite elves were lost, his mission plan a disaster
Those FTF boys had been a lot craftier
Than anyone up North have given them credit
And now there was no choice but to man up and admit it

He had a good plan, but it was not good enough
He had some decent tactics, never dreaming it’d be that rough

Should have read Matsamuni and that stupid Art of War
Better tactics were needed for this lot, thus seen so far

I’ve seen them talking about it in their posts all the time
About when you attack and how to use your mind

To out think your opponent and strike where they are softest
One thing was certain, those FTF boys were now on the sh!t list

Suddenly then Santa felt a stabbing new pain
It felt like someone was ice picking his brain

The 600 yard zero proved to be perfect
180 grains of justice delivered where deserved

The shot entered the skull and exited the eye
Santa didn’t have time to think through the why

Slumped at the controls as the sleigh nosed in on it’s run
Those stupid reindeer might live if only they had thumbs

The FTF crew watched in the moonlight night
As Santa that f*cker made his last flight…
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Old 12-06-2009, 02:50 AM   #26
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Damn JD,, you just had to cap Santa... wait until the Easter Bunny hears about this, you think they egged your house on Holloween!!!

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Old 12-06-2009, 02:56 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dzscubie View Post
Damn JD,, you just had to cap Santa... wait until the Easter Bunny hears about this, you think they egged your house on Holloween!!!
Dude. How long you been here? You think TANGO is going to take a slap in the face, on his OWN EFFING LAND and just sit back and say, "oh, okay, I am fine with that"

WTF?!?!

You betta recognize!!

You still got elves, you still got a reindeer or three, and you got Claus Junior and Mrs. Claus.

Make it work. Adapt. Overcome.

The hell, man?!?!

There are NO corners in fantasy writing.
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Old 12-06-2009, 02:59 AM   #28
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Thank you gentlemen. I am finally in a festive mood.

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Old 12-06-2009, 03:14 AM   #29
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Since this has become Homer's Iliad....

One set of eyes in a hole in the ground
Angry, and black, and perfectly round
Watching a sleigh as it crashes and burns
Burnt to a crisp, with no remnants found

While Tango, triumphant, is dancing a jig
Rejoicing on Christmas with pudding of fig
One black soul waits to avenge Ol Saint Nick
The soul of the Channukah Whistling Pig

Rimfires had taken his kind by the score
Tango had taken a thousand or more
But now, without Santa, the gloves could come off
The Whistle Pig headed for old Tango's door...

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Old 12-06-2009, 03:23 AM   #30
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OMG!!

The Channukah Whistling Pig!!

*kneels before the Alter of Benning*

You sir, are an INTERWEBZ MASTER!

I am humbled by your presence in the same thread.....

JD

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