English is now the official language of Europe


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Old 10-13-2009, 07:50 PM   #1
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Default English is now the official language of Europe

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.



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Old 10-13-2009, 09:19 PM   #2
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That was frikken funny right there! Nice



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Old 10-14-2009, 09:16 AM   #3
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[SIZE="2"]Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
ROFL! Zat vas fuken funy! I laft my as of!
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Old 10-14-2009, 11:40 AM   #4
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LOL, and they don't have even have to press 1.

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Old 04-09-2010, 02:24 PM   #5
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Nice one!
I have been laughing for the past 30 mins!

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Old 04-14-2010, 03:25 AM   #6
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I finally gave up on trying to translate everything in my head and started just reading it. That was when I noticed the German accent.
LMFAO! nice one!

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Old 04-14-2010, 04:14 AM   #7
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It's too bad English is no longer the official language of the United States. Funny story though.

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Old 04-14-2010, 05:21 PM   #8
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This is utterly hilarious !

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Old 04-14-2010, 06:13 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Jo da Plumbr View Post
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

HEY! No posting while you're driving! You're probably texting, too! (funny chit tho)
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Old 04-14-2010, 08:18 PM   #10
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HAHAHAHA that was great!!!



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