Draft Guys Over Sixty
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Old 01-28-2011, 06:32 AM   #1
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Default Draft Guys Over Sixty

Appropriated from another board. I've seen it before, but thought it was worth recycling.

Drafting men over 60----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier


I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward Muslim terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

How about recruiting Women over 50 ....in menopause! You think Men have attitudes! Ohhhhhh my God! If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They'll have it secured the first night!

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Old 01-28-2011, 06:40 AM   #2
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Been said here many times over and over: Never pick a fight with an old man. If he can't beat you down, he will just kill you. I believe it is the same for post-menopausal women.

Great post as always.

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Old 01-28-2011, 07:08 AM   #3
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I'll go!




the 10

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Old 01-28-2011, 12:55 PM   #4
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Send my old ass over there and I'll do some of that "I'm tired and pissed off so I'm just going to kill something" attitude thing.

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Old 01-28-2011, 12:58 PM   #5
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my knee's are bad; my back hurts; don't sleep much; really don't gripe; eye's are older? hahaha
have snored a few time; like adventure lolol

where's the bus

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Old 01-28-2011, 01:49 PM   #6
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Yeah, they could keep the running, push ups, situps and other crap; however, if they wanted us old farts for eliminating bad guys - I'm in...

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Old 01-28-2011, 02:27 PM   #7
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I would, without question, do it again in a heartbeat. But I would have to wait about 7 years to qualify for the age requirement, and I would have to have my Lane recliner air dropped in this time.

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Old 01-28-2011, 05:08 PM   #8
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I'll go in a blink of an eye

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Old 01-28-2011, 05:11 PM   #9
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Think of the Social Security they would save...

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Old 01-28-2011, 07:29 PM   #10
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I'm in, and getting up at 5 is easy after taking water pills, and skip the 20 foot wall and rope climb.

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