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Old 02-25-2013, 05:56 AM   #31
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Yea I understand him and will listen to his advice I was just giving him a little sh** ,just a little bit of humor Idk it just helps me
well maybe this will lighten it up a little for you.

Willie Nelson had a saying, "you know why divorce lawyers are so expensive? because they are worth it!"
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Old 02-25-2013, 05:57 AM   #32
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Damn trip just take all the fun out of my life lol ...we have not banged ( that made me lol just typing it) in several months I was just saying that we had since we split up...I didn't marry her because she could cook if u know what o mean
Lol! In all seriousness though, keep in mind, this isn't gonna be fun. And on child support and custody, that'll be settled in court. There is legal custody, which is almost always joint (at least in Mississippi, where my divorce happened) unless a parent is proven grossly unfit, and physical or domiciliary custody.

Legal is joint decision making, on what doctor, what schools, what religion and such. Physical is where the kid lives. Unless the two of you insist and live close enough to make it work, one of you is getting primary physical custody and the other is paying child support. Many courts don't like that arrangement, because the judges think it doesn't provide a stable enough home.

As it was mentioned, keep a record of every dime she gets from you, even if you drop a couple quarters at a gas station to air up a tire on her car. I documented the several hours of my time spent on the phone trying to help my ex get he car fixed, because I was "trying to be civil". That helped me. In court, I had evidence that I went above and beyond the call of duty to try and help her, and she stabbed me in the back every time. That reflected on her moral character where the court was concerned, along with the videos online.

It's fight time, time to make war, not peace. I'm not saying you have to ruin her life, but many judges and courts are still biased towards handing mom's everything on a silver platter.

I found out that I'm only the second man my judge has awarded custody to in her 17 years of sitting the bench. And it was blatantly obvious she turned a blind eye to many of my ex's misdeeds. She (my ex) ignored 3 different court orders, kidnapped my son, and cost me a couple thousand dollars to recover him in West Virginia (I live in Louisiana), and I had to go through the WV court system and hire another attorney there.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:00 AM   #33
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well maybe this will lighten it up a little for you.

Willie Nelson had a saying, "you know why divorce lawyers are so expensive? because they are worth it!"
Truer words have never been spoken. Total cost for me is more than I make in a year, by... a LOT. But I'm barely above minimum wage too.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:05 AM   #34
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Lol! In all seriousness though, keep in mind, this isn't gonna be fun. And on child support and custody, that'll be settled in court. There is legal custody, which is almost always joint (at least in Mississippi, where my divorce happened) unless a parent is proven grossly unfit, and physical or domiciliary custody.

Legal is joint decision making, on what doctor, what schools, what religion and such. Physical is where the kid lives. Unless the two of you insist and live close enough to make it work, one of you is getting primary physical custody and the other is paying child support. Many courts don't like that arrangement, because the judges think it doesn't provide a stable enough home.

As it was mentioned, keep a record of every dime she gets from you, even if you drop a couple quarters at a gas station to air up a tire on her car. I documented the several hours of my time spent on the phone trying to help my ex get he car fixed, because I was "trying to be civil". That helped me. In court, I had evidence that I went above and beyond the call of duty to try and help her, and she stabbed me in the back every time. That reflected on her moral character where the court was concerned, along with the videos online.

It's fight time, time to make war, not peace. I'm not saying you have to ruin her life, but many judges and courts are still biased towards handing mom's everything on a silver platter.

I found out that I'm only the second man my judge has awarded custody to in her 17 years of sitting the bench. And it was blatantly obvious she turned a blind eye to many of my ex's misdeeds. She (my ex) ignored 3 different court orders, kidnapped my son, and cost me a couple thousand dollars to recover him in West Virginia (I live in Louisiana), and I had to go through the WV court system and hire another attorney there.
See I don't want to go to war ..we live about five mins from each other so my son comes and gose as he pleases if he is at my house and wants to go to hers I just call her and take him there and same thing when he's at her house..she is not trying to keep him from me she wants me in his daily life that is one thing I can say for her..I know some ppl who r not so lucky for there ex to want that and be willing to meet them halfway with anything to do with the child ..we have that figured out its everything eles that we can't agree on
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:09 AM   #35
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Chaos, you got a tough row to hoe. and what Trip is saying could happen to you. not that it will, but could. he's being painfully honest and is trying to shed some light on what could happen. a civil divorce can and have gone ugly very quickly. she may be civil now, but let the wrong person say something at the wrong time and she can turn your entire world upside down and make it a living hell. i know i saw it first hand with my first ex-wife.

also let the lawyers negotiate child support. they are much better at it than you will be. you in the interests of the child may give more than can afford. and FYI, when the judge sets the child support amount, if possible see if it can go through the court clerks office for payment. state of Texas does it that way. a person pays child support through the court not to the ex-wife. they can never say or hold you over a barrel for not paying, because there will be proof you did.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:09 AM   #36
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Well then get it done in writing. As far a everything else... Didn't you already give her everything?
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:12 AM   #37
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If you listen to anyone here listen to Trip. He is, as he said, a recent veteran of the divorce war. Do not discount or dismiss anything he said. I would even go with his recommendation on attorneys if you are in LA.

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Damn trip just take all the fun out of my life lol ...we have not banged ( that made me lol just typing it) in several months I was just saying that we had since we split up...I didn't marry her because she could cook if u know what o mean
This is exactly the sort of thing you must refrain from from now on. This is all evidence not matter where it happens on the internet or in your real life. No more smack talking her at work or anything. Full stealth mode from now on. Ask advice and all to your heart's content, but don't ask anything that might compromise your case or integrity down the road and don't respond in a way that might do the same.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:17 AM   #38
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Well then get it done in writing. As far a everything else... Didn't you already give her everything?
Yea I gave her everything ..we just can't be around each other for very long without a fight right now ...I admit I'm a A$$hole and am trying to work on that for my sons sake ,I just want to be able to take him trick or treating togather and birthday party and stuff like that ..Idk I'm thinking with time we can get along again maybe even be friends (we have both moved on ) Idk though gusse only time will tell
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:20 AM   #39
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On the going to war comment I made. I want to clarify: even if you and her can agree on custody, you have to convince the court that it's in the best interest of your kid too.

See, the court is not your enemy, but they damn sure aren't your friend either. They do this everyday, they see what works and what doesn't. If the two of you agree on it, you both have to thoroughly convince the court that you can make it work.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:22 AM   #40
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What state are you in Chaos?
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