Originally Posted by chaos
Trying not to do it through lawyer.we share the kid I gave her the house,both cars and still give her money for other stuff like schools supplies ect.ect.ect...I gusse the question I should of asked is how to get along after the divorce for the next 13 years
Document freaking everything that you have done, especially any payments that might be construed as child support. Do not trust her an inch. You may never have to use it, but if you do and don't have it you will be sorely screwed. If she goes after you for child support when your child is 17 years and 11 months old and you have no documentation that you have been paying her all of those years, you will
be forced to pay again. Doing it yourself is unwise. Also, as far as custody goes, you should not try and work that out on your own, that never goes well for the kid (especially a young kid) because like it or not it will be used against you or you will in a weak moment use it against your wife. It is the nature of these things. If a Judge decides then you both can only blame the Judge.
As to how to get along? Don't expect to. Be civil and do not get into arguments. If you sense one is coming then leave immediately. Eventually you will probably start getting along again but don't bet on that either. My parents divorced when I was 13, they didn't start talking to each other again until I was in my early 20's and getting married. I invited both of them to several parties/gatherings, etc., and let them figure it out. I was not going to "choose" between my parents and when my mom asked if I had invited Dad I told her "Of course. I am not going to choose sides. If you don't want to see him then don't come, but it is not my decision. I want you both there."
It worked out OK from then on out. Dad died back in September and mom was invited to be there in the hospital with the rest of the family by my stepmother when he was on his deathbed. All was forgiven by then. Mom and Stepmom are now doing things together like friends.