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chaos 02-25-2013 05:20 AM

divorce
 
Anybody got any good advice on how to do this in the most civil way ..have been separated about a year and can't seem to be civil to each other ....we have one child togather ..thanks for any imput

kbd512 02-25-2013 05:25 AM

That sucks, but the best advice is if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. She doesn't have the right to be abusive to anyone, but if she's not happy to see you you're going to have to deal with it. She may stay angry for the rest of her life or she may get over it one day. My wife remembers every little thing I do, right, wrong, good, bad, or indifferent. It's probably hard to believe right now, but you'll be happy that you kept a level head about the situation even if she can't keep hers.

chaos 02-25-2013 05:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kbd512 (Post 1153007)
That sucks, but the best advice is if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. She doesn't have the right to be abusive to anyone, but if she's not happy to see you you're going to have to deal with it. She may stay angry for the rest of her life or she may get over it one day. My wife remembers every little thing I do, right, wrong, good, bad, or indifferent. It's probably hard to believe right now, but you'll be happy that you kept a level head about the situation even if she can't keep hers.

Oh don't get me wrong its not a 100% her she knows what buttons to push..I would say its Prolly 97% her 3% me lol

GrtWhytHype 02-25-2013 05:33 AM

Keep you mouth shut, don't threaten, keep records of what happened at what time, don't antagonize, don't telegraph what you plan, no voicemails no texts, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES sleep with her again,(lol) get a good lawyer, and thank The Lord there's no kid involved.

Sorry about the rant. Been there. :-D keep your head up.

chaos 02-25-2013 05:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrtWhytHype (Post 1153015)
Keep you mouth shut, don't threaten, keep records of what happened at what time, don't antagonize, don't telegraph what you plan, no voicemails no texts, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES sleep with her again,(lol) get a good lawyer, and thank The Lord there's no kid involved.

Sorry about the rant. Been there. :-D keep your head up.

We have one kid that's y we still have to be around each other....and on the not sleeping with her thing yea that can get thrown out the window ( I'm weak what can I say) lol ..but thanks for the advice

Vikingdad 02-25-2013 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chaos (Post 1153011)
Oh don't get me wrong its not a 100% her she knows what buttons to push..I would say its Prolly 97% her 3% me lol

Consult with a few lawyers. They usually give a free consultation, so you can go to a few and get a feel for them to see if they are a good fit. A recommendation from a friend goes a long ways. Once you find a good lawyer have them handle it from there on out. Do what they advise and don't do anything without getting their advice.

Divorce is going to be costly, both in its emotional toll and in the toll on your bank account. No way around that. The more you or she digs in the more costly it is going to be.

chaos 02-25-2013 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikingdad (Post 1153047)

Consult with a few lawyers. They usually give a free consultation, so you can go to a few and get a feel for them to see if they are a good fit. A recommendation from a friend goes a long ways. Once you find a good lawyer have them handle it from there on out. Do what they advise and don't do anything without getting their advice.

Divorce is going to be costly, both in its emotional toll and in the toll on your bank account. No way around that. The more you or she digs in the more costly it is going to be.

Trying not to do it through lawyer.we share the kid I gave her the house,both cars and still give her money for other stuff like schools supplies ect.ect.ect...I gusse the question I should of asked is how to get along after the divorce for the next 13 years

kytowboater 02-25-2013 05:53 AM

My parents went through a very nasty divorce in 1999, they still talk on a regular basis. Actually my dad has offered for my mom to move back in with him recently. Weird.

Axxe55 02-25-2013 06:01 AM

what Vikingdad is telling you is pretty much gospel. get an attorney and as quick as possible. when you get one refer her to your attorney for any questions. consult with your attorney on everything, and i mean everything. follow their advice to the letter.

trust me i've been there, twice! what Vikingdad is saying is good advice. i wish i had know this duringmy first divorce. it would have saved me a lot of headaches.

keep your spirits up and lean on your family and friend for emotional support. trust me, that no matter how strong you think you are, it's very emotionally draining. keep active to keep your mind off the situation as much as possible.

i know what you're going through, and trust me on this, there is nothing any of us can say that will ease the burden that upon you right now. but know that some of us have been there, and we feel for you. good luck.

nitestalker 02-25-2013 06:08 AM

Johnny Carson was married a number of times each divorce cost him big time. Carson finally decided rather than going thru the legal night mare of divorce he would change. He said instead of getting married again he would just find some disgusting woman every 5 years that he could not stand and buy her a new home and a car.:eek:


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