I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Nice spelling, boy-wonder. You're on your way to a medicore career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Stop pestering me.
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Look son, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat-assed mommy, who rides his poor ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream, kid. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those, whatcha say?
I want a new bike, a PlayStation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Who the f*ck names their kid "Campbell" nowadays? I bet you're freakin' gay.
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Look, milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them an extra slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Tell your mom she got the part.
"Long Dong" Claus
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Live with it.
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
That whiney begging sh1t may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you keep getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the neighborhood boys do, through your sister's bedroom window.
Merry F*cking Christmas, Jack
"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway
The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.
__________________ If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen. ― Samuel Adams
Location: Stafford, Virginia,The state of insanity.
Liked 33 Times on 28 Posts
I want a new bike for christmas.
Dear Effing DOUCHE BAG Bobby
What kind of bike stupid, well you say bike do you want an effing harley or one of them stupid dam rice rockets or do you want a effing bicycle you dam moron. Good Lord kid be a little more specific so Tangoclause can get you want you don't want a DOUCHE BAG. I bet your at the bottom of your class you little turd muncher arn't you. I bet Little Johny the dumbest kid on the block is a higher reading level than you dumb azz. Go punch yourself in the junk till it falls off so you never have a chance to make more stupid babies.