[BombDoc]

Dear mole I recently found near my man parts,

GOD! You had better be a mole!!

Sincerely,
My junk


Dear porta-pottie,

Why does your blue goo splash on me when I poo?

Sincerely,
Butt


Dear men in the shower,

Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me while I'm cleaning myself. Don't talk to me while I'm drying myself. Don't talk to me.

Sincerely,
Naked guy

[Reaper61]

Originally Posted by BombDoc

Well played. A few more to add to the deployment fun.


You, you ass-clown wearing a poorly fitted jackass rig with your brand new dusty M9 pointing at me while you walk,

Get a real holster. Maybe get one that you can wear with the brand new body armor someone decided you needed to sign for and leave in the plastic.

Sincerely,
Everyone that knows how to carry a damned pistol


Dear head count at the DFAC,

Seriously, I'm on uniform and I'm carrying my weapon. You don't need to see my CAC.

Sincerely,
Every warfighter


Dear Little smelly guys that work in the DFAC,

If you see me trying to maneuver the DFAC with a tray full of food and the other hand full of delicious licky-chewies; GTF outta my way!! Also, keep your smelly ass away from my table while I'm eating. You may need to clean that speck right now but your aroma ruins my meal.

Sincerely,
Servicemembers


Dear fat contractors,

We understand you NEED to eat. We understand you THINK you are more important than us. STOP taking all the chocolate chip muffins! Leave a few bananas for us. Maybe lay off the goodies and drop some weight. It's hot and your heart might not make it. I can hear you getting fatter.

Truly,
Servicemembers


Dear Fluor,

Hire some attractive women! This Euro-trash crap you sent us couldn't get laid in Europe and it does nothing for morale here.

Honestly,
BombDoc


Dear Air Force & Navy weightlifters,

There has not been a time we went to the gym and missed you. I don't know what you get paid to do but your lack of actual employment and abundance of gym time creates a scheduling conflict. Please have your people call our people so we can split our times.

Luv ya,
Soldiers & Marines


Muj ass-hats!

Stop lobbing IDF at us during our happy time. It's worse than when you did this during our poopie time.

BombDoc


Dear Officers I work with,

Please stop having me proof your admin work. I didn't go to college.

Sincerely,
BombDoc

Dear Officers I work with,

Please stop proofing my admin work. Yours was much worse!

Sincerely,
BombDoc

hit the nail on the head BombDoc!!! Spit water out my nose I was laughing so hard!!