Darwin Awards
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > Darwin Awards

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-04-2010, 01:45 PM   #1
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
TXnorton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Katy,Texas
Posts: 1,376
Default Darwin Awards

Most likley just Internet humor:

The Darwin Awards - 2009
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.... $15. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Remember.... They walk among us!!!

__________________

TXnorton

TXnorton is offline  
 
Reply With Quote

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today - It's Free!

Are you a firearms enthusiast? Then we hope you will join the community. You will gain access to post, create threads, private message, upload images, join groups and more.

Firearms Talk is owned and operated by fellow firearms enthusiasts. We strive to offer a non-commercial community to learn and share information.

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today! - Click Here


Old 01-04-2010, 02:05 PM   #2
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
canebrake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: 150 miles NE of Sloppy Joe's Bar
Posts: 21,941
Liked 1423 Times on 808 Posts
Likes Given: 1290

Default

Now you've done it TX!

I see ten new goubr-mint programs to be started after the boma-spy reads today's FTF posts!

__________________
http://i695.photobucket.com/albums/v...brake02jpg.jpg

http://i1060.photobucket.com/albums/...ps18cfbeae.jpg

Get her dirty, then clean her so she starts to respect you. When her trust is complete, she will serve you well for a lifetime!

"...if doves shot back, there wouldn't be a need for a bag limit."
- orangello
canebrake is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2010, 02:19 PM   #3
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DrJason's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Hartford,CT
Posts: 532
Liked 25 Times on 15 Posts
Likes Given: 17

Default

HAHAHAHA.....even if they aren't all true still damn funny.....the stupidity of the general population is astounding

__________________
DrJason is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2010, 07:03 PM   #4
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 227
Likes Given: 2

Default

7 and 8 or actually old. Saw them on one those "dumbest crooks" years ago. The video from 7 was hilarious as you could see the guy wake up look around figure out wha happen then stumble off. Good stuff all around though!!!

__________________
bigbad-ratman is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 03:15 AM   #5
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
spittinfire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Maiden,NC
Posts: 9,663
Liked 83 Times on 54 Posts
Likes Given: 5

Default

The stupid is just amazing sometimes.

__________________

If the pain is lacking so is the discipline...

"the only 911 call I need is chambering a round" - Mr. Muller, MO car dealer

spittinfire is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 03:44 AM   #6
Moderator
FTF_MODERATOR.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
c3shooter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Third bunker on the right,Central Virginia
Posts: 17,061
Liked 9384 Times on 4047 Posts
Likes Given: 1476

Default

Stupid SHOULD be painful-
2009 Darwin Award Nominee





(12 April 2008, Florida) Traffic was moving slowly on southbound I-95. Shawn M. had recently left a Pompano Beach bar, and now he was stuck in traffic. As the saying goes, you don't buy beer--you just rent it, and Shawn couldn't wait another moment to relieve himself. "I need to take a leak," he told his friends.
Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man climbed out, put his hand on the divider, and jumped over the low concrete wall... only to fall 65 feet to his death. "He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn't," said a Fort Lauderdale police spokesman. The car was idling on an overpass above the railroad lines.

His mother shared her attempt thoughts. "Shawn didn't do a whole lot for a living. He got along on his charm, just like his father."

Though his death was tragic, Shawn's downfall proves the old adage: Look before you leak!

__________________

What we have here is... failure- to communicate.

c3shooter is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 04:32 AM   #7
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Gatekeeper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Uniontown,PA
Posts: 3,710
Liked 8 Times on 6 Posts

Default

Read this one years ago in a gun/law magazines dumb crook line up
Did a google search and found story here
The Cook Shack--Gab & Grub: 2007-05-13
probly BS but----

Quote:
John Pernicky and his friend, Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree.

His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr.Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum.

To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John deceased under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick up his ass, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
__________________

----------Gate
______________________________________________
Hellfire, Doom, Watch the hatred spin
Beyond the speed of sound---
Fire it up, Let the engines roll
It's time to burn it down

Gatekeeper is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 04:40 AM   #8
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
rifleman1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Live Oak,California
Posts: 1,631
Liked 434 Times on 273 Posts
Likes Given: 1281

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatekeeper View Post
Read this one years ago in a gun/law magazines dumb crook line up
Did a google search and found story here
The Cook Shack--Gab & Grub: 2007-05-13
probly BS but----
i seen this on a movie called darwin laws or something like that and it was at a matalica concert.
__________________
rifleman1 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 12:02 PM   #9
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
ItsmeShane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 303
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TXnorton View Post
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
HAHAHA, he'll teach her to take his parking spot. what was she thinking.......
__________________

"There's not too many things, a man can't fix, with a couple hundred rounds, and his 30-06."

ItsmeShane is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 05:13 PM   #10
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 293
Liked 9 Times on 6 Posts

Default

"10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. "

At least this one's a recurring myth. Can't happen, access to a motor home's holding tank isn't through any exterior access port. Contents are 'poured' into the tank from the toilet drain line, only, and pours out through a 3" sewer connection below the holding tank, only. Anyone opening the exterior drain valve will get an un-ignorable flood before inserting a siphon hose up into the tank!

But, it makes an amusing story.

__________________

Last edited by 1hole; 01-05-2010 at 05:16 PM.
1hole is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
FTF Awards: The Trolls Benning Boy The Club House 18 12-06-2009 10:20 PM
FTF Awards: Most Helpful Benning Boy The Club House 12 12-06-2009 11:32 AM
Darwin at Work Again TXnorton The Club House 5 09-23-2009 03:09 PM
Darwin Awards spittinfire The Club House 3 07-20-2009 09:17 PM