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Bladerunnerfury 01-21-2013 02:29 PM

Craig's List Ad
 
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine inAfghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ...Isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ...... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi
Alex

Trez 01-21-2013 03:06 PM

While its a "feel good" story... The marine crossed the line, it went from self defense to armed robbery and credit card fraud...

Seriously, If I were the "hoodlum" I would just call in my credit card and laugh when the guy gets jailed for fraud.... :rolleyes:

In addition.. The marine just told on himself, when all those people start calling or knocking on the door I would just point at the ad, and tell em to look into that..

Just sounds like a way to turn a situation, into a no-win...

Mosin 01-21-2013 03:12 PM

LOL...
I had my car broken into once. A few days later I found a credit card on the ground. I called the credit card company to report it, but then had an idea. I reported it as stolen, then left it on the dashboard of my car for a few months...

Sadly, no criminals ever took the bait, I wish they would have...

davva360 01-21-2013 03:17 PM

I agree. He took it too far and now could end up in trouble himself. Would have been better to restrain him and call the police.

pfev1980 01-21-2013 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trez
While its a "feel good" story... The marine crossed the line, it went from self defense to armed robbery and credit card fraud...

Seriously, If I were the "hoodlum" I would just call in my credit card and laugh when the guy gets jailed for fraud.... :rolleyes:

In addition.. The marine just told on himself, when all those people start calling or knocking on the door I would just point at the ad, and tell em to look into that..

Just sounds like a way to turn a situation, into a no-win...

I think it's satire, or an exaggeration at best. Very funny though.


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