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Old 05-06-2009, 11:52 PM   #11
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Swelled up like a tic on the back of a dog.

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Old 05-06-2009, 11:54 PM   #12
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Nuttier than squirrel shiet

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:09 AM   #13
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She was so tall she could hunt geese with a rake.

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:12 AM   #14
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Slicker than snot on a doorknob.

He's all hat and no cattle.

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:21 AM   #15
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"All stoved up" - means one has stiff joints

"hotter than a fresh f'd fox in a pepper patch" - means it is rather warm outside today

"she is ugly as a mud fence" - the young lady is rather unattractive

"happier than a three p**kered billy goat" - one feels overjoyed at the current situation

"you wouldn't be able to hit us in the a$$ with a big red apple" - a variation of the aforementioned billy goat happiness, however this one applies exclusively to two individuals, not one

"he needs to keep his loose change in his pocket" - he really shouldn't go around talking about his personal troubles to everyone

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:25 AM   #16
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I've always liked the colourful local expression

"As ugly as a hatful of arseholes"

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:28 AM   #17
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Or,

That’s about as handy as a pocketful of paper azzholes.

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:47 AM   #18
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Busier than a cat covered in $hit....

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:49 AM   #19
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Red on the noodle like the pecker on a poodle. = not very swift and cocky

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Old 05-07-2009, 12:55 AM   #20
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Worthless as tits on a boar hog=lazy
Well, don't that just tear the rag off the bush=surprise
I'll be dipped in horse$hit=disgust
That man would climb a tree backwards to tell a lie= BS artist.
Dumber than a bag of hammers=dumb

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