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Old 09-07-2012, 02:34 PM   #101
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Spitty falls fast asleep in his tree stand awaiting the morning signal to alert him that deer season finally had arrived.

Waking to what sounded like a bugle being played by half a muppet on vicodin, he sat up and realized that he was in some sort of strange setting where as far as the eye could see, there was nothing but huts and tents and other outdoor living quarters.

As his eyes focused, he noticed that several people, dressed in various layers of yellow and orange clothing were running for their lives as what appeared to be very large deer, with shiny tipped horns on their racks and breathing fire, chased them down and mauled them.

Yes Spitty, Deer Season has arrived again, only this time the shoe is on the other hoof.

I wish this pain in my neck would go away and allow me to turn my head without that distracting CRACK.
It's strange that 2 years later, the day before deer season opens I read this post.
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Old 09-07-2012, 05:03 PM   #102
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Default Your wish is my command.....

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Your wish comes true. You work 4 days a week, 1 hour a day... for minimum wage.

I wish my health was perfect.
You have found the fountain of youth, you shall live for ever. The tiny Island on which you have found this miracle is unseen on maps and you can't return to tell others of your find. You are forever to live your life on a desert Island drinking from the fountain of youth...... I wish my wife was mean and ugly......Oh I already got that... I wish I had a cold beer that never goes empty, shoot I got that.......O K ... I wish cane would leave me all his guns in his will.......Its that or I wish someone would take my daughter in exchange for guns an ammo......
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:34 AM   #103
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I wish cane would leave me all his guns in his will.......Its that or I wish someone would take my daughter in exchange for guns an ammo......
Thanks to my bountiful benevolence both of your wishes are granted. Cane does indeed leave you all his guns and someone does take your daughter in exchange for an immense gun collection and enough ammo to take over a small country

But ..... you are immediately hit with crippling arthritis of the hands and they curl up into grotesqueness bulbous masses of calcified bone and scar tissue thus preventing you from even handling your newly acquired weapons


I wish I could catch an interstellar ride to another planet
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:47 PM   #104
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Default deja vu.....

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Thanks to my bountiful benevolence both of your wishes are granted. Cane does indeed leave you all his guns and someone does take your daughter in exchange for an immense gun collection and enough ammo to take over a small country

But ..... you are immediately hit with crippling arthritis of the hands and they curl up into grotesqueness bulbous masses of calcified bone and scar tissue thus preventing you from even handling your newly acquired weapons


I wish I could catch an interstellar ride to another planet
I got that too......Artheritis sucks.....
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:42 PM   #105
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I wish I could catch an interstellar ride to another planet
Done and done.

You win an Internet lottery giveaway to ride on the maiden voyage of Virgin Air's new planetary traveler enroute to mars. It's a glorious day for all mankind. The new vessel is touted as the most indestructible space vehicle ever constructed and is hailed as mankind's greatest achievement.

Unfortunately; just as another Ill fated ship from eons ago, indestructible is not the case. While navigating through the milky way, the captain turns over the bridge to an inexperienced ensign who promptly fails to engage the asteroid/meteor detection system. The crew and passengers are awoken to the sound of a collision. Within hours, the ships air systems shut down and slowly the pressurization is lost level by level. With only a few escape pods available, you are left to sit and await your impending doom. When it comes ... you simply explode. Molecules forever floating in space.


I wish I would win the $200 million powerball.
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:02 PM   #106
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Default Power ball winner........

Your wish is granted, obama is re elected and your winnings are taken and given to those who refuse to work.......I wish That all men would stop the wars across the globe......If not men the women should step in.
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:58 PM   #107
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Default Foose ball.....

I wish I could sit down and watch one efn saints game with out the women in the same room........
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Old 09-09-2012, 11:04 PM   #108
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I wish I could sit down and watch one efn saints game with out the women in the same room........
You get your wish and watch your tame lose to a rookie quarterback who throws for 320 yards in your first home defeat since 2010.


I wish the Bills didn't suck this year.
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Old 09-09-2012, 11:21 PM   #109
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I wish the Bills didn't suck this year.
You wish is granted and the Bills, through an influx of money from "private investors" and some "leveraged trades" amass a team that is first in just about every statistical category.

Their defense is destroying opposing teams with with an average takeaway ratio of 12 per game. 9 first or second round priority picks are knocked out for the rest of the season by your defense in the first 4 games alone.

Your offense is racking up points so fast that the scoreboard looks more like a slot machine. Individual NFL records are falling every quarter as your team demonstrates the kind of superb one mindedness that can only come from years of training together.

Other teams have called for investigation into PED's, steroids, anything to explain their dominance.

By the 10th week the feds are involved and it's quickly apparent that the private investors were in fact several members of organized criminal syndicates that are making money hand over fist by betting on the games. They are insuring they win each long shot by not doping your players, but doping every player on the opposing teams through hotel meals, high priced escorts and aerosol based inhalents in the locker rooms themselves.

By the playoffs your team has been officially taken over by the Feds, garnering many new nicknames. Your team is essentially sending YMCA league players to the field to agree to the coin toss, then take a knee and issue a submission.

Your season will long be remembered as the new "Black Sox" and your fan base has set a new state record for domestic violence. Women's groups focus on the new crime stats and work together with other liberal, anti-fun organizations towards elimination of not only football, but the sale of BEER!

You sir, have caused the demise of the very thing you hold dear. I do hope it was worth it.

I wish every politician, in every office and in every nation, were all, simultaneously, confronted with their worst, most horrifying, primal fear such that only the top 1% of the truly strong survive to learn the errors of their ways.
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Old 09-10-2012, 02:54 PM   #110
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Default Oh yi yi......

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You get your wish and watch your tame lose to a rookie quarterback who throws for 320 yards in your first home defeat since 2010.


I wish the Bills didn't suck this year.
No fare, you waited till the game was over.....What a let down...... O K the Bills won't suck this year, but they'll still be on thier knees...... lol....
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