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Old 12-29-2012, 06:41 PM   #1
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Default Confession

Gleefully stolen from another board:

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball.” Man – “That’s nice.” Boy – “Want to buy it?” Man – “No, thanks.” Boy – “My dad’s outside.” Man – “OK, how much?” Boy – “$250″

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy – “Dark in here.” Man – “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball glove.” The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?” Boy – “$750″ Man – “Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.” The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” Boy – “$1,000″ The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”Samuel Adams
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Old 12-29-2012, 06:49 PM   #2
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:15 PM   #3
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Ha! That's awesome!
Oh dern....

Revelation 19:11

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:27 PM   #4
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I have been a silent witness
to all of America's finest hours.
But my finest hour comes
when I am torn into strips and used as bandages
for my wounded comrades on the battlefield,
When I fly at half-mast to honor my soldiers,
Or when I lie in the trembling arms
of a grieving mother
at the graveside of her fallen son.
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:27 PM   #5
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LMAO!!!! That was awesome.
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:34 PM   #6
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I actually lol'd. Very good.
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:37 PM   #7
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:18 PM   #8
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Old 12-29-2012, 09:51 PM   #9
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good one! Another-

Guy goes into the confessional- and is surprised. There is a Lazyboy recliner, a bar, a smoking stand with some really good cigars, and a nice pair of slippers.

The priest comes in, and the parishioner say "Gee, Father- I have not been to confession in years- this sure has changed."

Priest says, "Get out. You're on MY side."
What we have here is... failure- to communicate.
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Old 12-30-2012, 03:32 AM   #10
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Both good!
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