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12-29-2012, 05:41 PM
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#1
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Location: Oregon
Posts: 19,865
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Confession
Gleefully stolen from another board:
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball.” Man – “That’s nice.” Boy – “Want to buy it?” Man – “No, thanks.” Boy – “My dad’s outside.” Man – “OK, how much?” Boy – “$250″
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy – “Dark in here.” Man – “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball glove.” The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?” Boy – “$750″ Man – “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.” The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” Boy – “$1,000″ The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”
__________________
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” ― Samuel Adams
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12-29-2012, 05:49 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Festus, Missouri
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Rotflmao!!
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12-29-2012, 06:15 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,762
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Ha! That's awesome!
__________________
Oh dern....
Revelation 19:11
And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.
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12-29-2012, 06:27 PM
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#4
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=Semper Fi=
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Location: oakfield,ny
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......,,,,
__________________
I have been a silent witness
to all of America's finest hours.
But my finest hour comes
when I am torn into strips and used as bandages
for my wounded comrades on the battlefield,
When I fly at half-mast to honor my soldiers,
Or when I lie in the trembling arms
of a grieving mother
at the graveside of her fallen son.
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12-29-2012, 06:27 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Reno,Texas
Posts: 6,042
Liked 2060 Times on 1218 Posts Likes Given: 8717
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LMAO!!!! That was awesome.
__________________
Aaron
"The greatest danger to American freedom is a government that ignores the Constitution."
Thomas Jefferson
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12-29-2012, 06:34 PM
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#6
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May you live in interesting times...
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,242
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I actually lol'd. Very good.
__________________
America has fought wars across the globe, because we kept our firearms while others let dictators take theirs...
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12-29-2012, 06:37 PM
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#7
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Hardships make or break people. -Margaret Mitchell-
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Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 16,179
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 .................
__________________
Honor Student: School of Hard Knocks
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Quando Omni Flunkus Moritatus
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12-29-2012, 07:18 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,228
Liked 640 Times on 500 Posts Likes Given: 112
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Hmmm......
__________________
This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
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12-29-2012, 08:51 PM
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#9
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Moderator
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Location: Third bunker on the right,Central Virginia
Posts: 13,055
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good one! Another-
Guy goes into the confessional- and is surprised. There is a Lazyboy recliner, a bar, a smoking stand with some really good cigars, and a nice pair of slippers.
The priest comes in, and the parishioner say "Gee, Father- I have not been to confession in years- this sure has changed."
Priest says, "Get out. You're on MY side."
__________________
What we have heah is.... failure to communicate.
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12-30-2012, 02:32 AM
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#10
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Location: Orlando,Florida
Posts: 1,394
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Both good!
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