The Colonoscopy....arrrgg..
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Old 03-01-2013, 12:32 PM   #1
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Default The Colonoscopy....arrrgg..

Those of us oldies all know what this is. The "Night Before" is the worst part. My gawd...two jugs of Drano and hold on. Within an hour, I could fire a round thru the hole of a CHEERIO at 60 feet from that witches brew......and just when you think you're done - that cheeseburger you had in 1974 shuttles thru. Having not done this before, going in I had images in my head of some doctor standing by some steam belching monstrosity with downriggers on it like a backhoe and he's slapping a big ol' hose up against a concrete wall to knock the barnacles off it and yelling "Get him in here, I got a T-off time in 40 minutes!" They rolled me in, told me to think nice thoughts....(?)......sound of crickets. How do you have nice thoughts when you know in a few moments your caboose is going to see a salmon going up stream holding a Polaroid? I dunno, next thing I know I'm out cold and waking up wondering if I should say Thank You or cry....I got the clean bill of health and walked out sideways like John Wayne and whimpered for a Happy Meal afterwards.....I told my wife I've had every orifice in my body checked by a doctor now and that's enough. Get it done....the Happy Meal afterwards is worth it, fellas.

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Old 03-01-2013, 12:47 PM   #2
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Lmfao. Been there, done that. Not fun.

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Old 03-01-2013, 12:52 PM   #3
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Default Torture......

They ran me thru the mill, I had cronic fatigue syndrome. But I think it was that deer tick embedded in my chest. Better known as Lyme disease.....Six months of hell......

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Old 03-01-2013, 01:52 PM   #4
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Its not big sh*t !

Had it done two years ago, as I told my doc ahead of time I was scared sh*tless, - he said it should be a piece of cake then

Prep was a non issue, the issue for me was being put under. They were concerned as my BP was sky high at the time, cause I was scared to death. Once it was done BP was 100% normal, had just worked myself up for nothing.

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Old 03-01-2013, 02:07 PM   #5
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LMAO! Been there done that.

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Old 03-01-2013, 02:47 PM   #6
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Don't they sedate you?

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Old 03-01-2013, 04:12 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notdku View Post
Don't they sedate you?
It depends...some get a General anesthesia, some get some "feel good" local meds via IV prior and some get a ball peen hammer upside the bucket. I also know a few who toughed it out without anything. I wasn't on that last list I'll tell ya...
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:15 PM   #8
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I'm sure it's a good thing ,but what kid of kid aspires to be a Proctologist ?

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Old 03-01-2013, 05:40 PM   #9
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Besides the night before being bad, I really did not want to be in public when the air they pumped in started coming out.

I had a couple that would have made my uncle proud, but they were stinkless.

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Old 03-01-2013, 05:52 PM   #10
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Besides the night before being bad, I really did not want to be in public when the air they pumped in started coming out.

I had a couple that would have made my uncle proud, but they were stinkless.
Next time , remember the (FART-OFF).........! You could be a contenda............!
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