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Old 11-23-2010, 11:24 PM   #21
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Fabulous!, How in the world am I going to sleep tonight?

If I did that to you all, it would last 1 minute.
And to think it took me almost two years to get the nightmares outta my head! Oh well, back to square one.
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Old 11-23-2010, 11:56 PM   #22
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I tried to order a Lion, but they "reserve the right to decide who they sell them to". Whatever...

I would teach it to hunt with me. We would decimate the coyote population.
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Old 11-24-2010, 12:00 AM   #23
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I tried to order a Lion, but they "reserve the right to decide who they sell them to". Whatever...

I would teach it to hunt with me. We would decimate the coyote population.
I'll order it for you and FedEx it to you. What is your CC number?
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Old 11-24-2010, 01:15 AM   #24
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I'll order it for you and FedEx it to you. What is your CC number?
Thanks, bruddah!

I'm getting a lion, I'm getting a lion, I'm getting a lion.....
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Old 11-24-2010, 04:21 PM   #25
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I'm getting a lion, I'm getting a lion, I'm getting a lion.....
Have you seen "Grandma's Boy"?

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Old 11-24-2010, 08:05 PM   #26
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Have you seen "Grandma's Boy"?

Dude, you can't be yelling like that when the lion gets here.
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Old 11-24-2010, 08:48 PM   #27
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Karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.
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Old 11-24-2010, 08:50 PM   #28
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Karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.
I have a friend with a "don't judge me" tattoo.
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Old 11-24-2010, 09:21 PM   #29
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The lady who got mauled was just a friend though.
When your friend calls and says help my 200# psycho chimp is trying to eat my face off are you going to go running over there? Oh and the owner stabbed the chimp and hit him with a shovel because he was so out of control.

I am going to say "You keep him busy I'll call the police and get my shotgun OK" then I will do just that. Once the cops get there they can shoot the chimp and I will shoot you for being a effing dumbass.

If you do some more reading on this chimp Travis. He was a desaster waiting to happen. He bit a woman in 1996. He jumped from the tow truck when a kid threw something at him and was chasing the kid in 2003.

Oh and to top it off the chimp has Lyme disease. This can cause many problems with humans and animals like fits of rage. Then to top that the owner gave the chimp Xanax laced Tea that day which can cause disinhibition and disorientation when taken in recreational doses and occasionally paradoxical reactions of hallucination, aggression, rage and mania.

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Dr. Colleen McCann, a primatologist with the Wild Life Conservation Society's Bronx Zoo pointed out that even under the best of conditions chimpanzees are prone to unpredictable violent behavior, being much more aggressive than gorillas.
That is so true it is not funny.

The owners husbands died of cancer then her son died in a car crash she started sleeping with the chimp ( I think they mean sharing a bed. but would she have intercourse with him?) she bathed with him and pampered him from then on.

The owner Sandra passed May of this year to cancer.

Sorry this entire thing was an effing train wreak and just an attack waiting to happen.

The lady that got attacked lost both hands her nose lips facial bones and some brain matter. I think she even lost a foot as well. She in the end sued the lady for $50million.

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Old 11-24-2010, 09:52 PM   #30
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I want a wild chameleon, maybe a tarantula, but that that is about it.
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