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Chili recipe needed!


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Old 12-18-2009, 04:08 PM   #21
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lonyaeger wins. IT'S CHILI TIME!!!
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:12 PM   #22
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Try adding some taco seasoning mix to the chile. Yum Yum.
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:24 PM   #23
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Sorry Spitty, I was away from my desk.

It does make quite a bit, but that's the recipe my brother and I use at cook-offs. And no snow cones needed either.

That's right Lon, I compete too.
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Old 12-18-2009, 05:13 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spittinfire View Post
Am I going to want to wipe my a$$ with a snow cone?
Most likely. I don't know how seasoned you are with the hot stuff. I brush my teeth with it
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Old 12-18-2009, 05:15 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by lonyaeger View Post
Most likely. I don't know how seasoned you are with the hot stuff. I brush my teeth with it
I'm going for it. I figure it's snowing outside so I should be safe. I'm making a seperate batch for the wife.
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Old 12-18-2009, 05:15 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Troy Michalik View Post
Sorry Spitty, I was away from my desk.

It does make quite a bit, but that's the recipe my brother and I use at cook-offs. And no snow cones needed either.

That's right Lon, I compete too.
Those big balls of foil in the smoker look delicious.

That's something I've always wanted to do, Troy, seriously. What do you have in there....brisket, shoulder?
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Old 12-18-2009, 05:20 PM   #27
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Garlic lots and lots of garlic I use 5 to 6 tablespoons of minced garlic in my chili with 2# of meat 1 can of red kidney beans 1 big can of diced maters. For spices i use

paprika
Garlic powder
ground cumin (Gives a nice deep smokey flavor)
Kosher salt
Fresh ground black pepper
white pepper
chili powder
small dash of all spice just to confuse you
Lemon and lime juice (1/2 a fruit of each)
red pepper flakes
splash of liquid smoke
Franks Red hot sauce (I put that SH!T on everything)
2 habenaros
fresh ginger grated with a microplane


If I am making it for the wife and kids I leave the above out because they like a mild chili.
1/2 # of bacon browned
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Old 12-18-2009, 05:31 PM   #28
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Default The Chili Cook-Off

CHILI COOK-OFF NOTE:
Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is! They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! You will likely want to read this behind closed doors because, if you are like me, you will be howling out loud.

INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER
Notes from an inexperienced chili tester named SPITTINFIRE, who was visiting Texas from the east coast:

"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judges table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted."
Here are the score cards from the event:
__________________________________________________ _____
CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI

TROY MICHALIK: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

LONYAEGER: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

SPITTINFIRE: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy
__________________________________________________ _____
CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

TROY MICHALIK: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

LONYAEGER: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

SPITTINFIRE: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
__________________________________________________ _____
CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

TROY MICHALIK: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

LONYAEGER: A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

SPITTINFIRE: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all the beer
__________________________________________________ _____
CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

TROY MICHALIK: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

LONYAEGER: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

SPITTINFIRE: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. Bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac.
__________________________________________________ _____
CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

TROY MICHALIK: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive.

LONYAEGER: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

SPITTINFIRE: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!
__________________________________________________ _____
CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

TROY MICHALIK: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

LONYAEGER: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

SPITTINFIRE: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

__________________________________________________ _
CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

TROY MICHALIK: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

LONYAEGER: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

SPITTINFIRE: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like **** to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
__________________________________________________ __
CHILI # 8 LESTER'S LAST OF THE RED-HOT LOVER'S CHILI

TROY MICHALIK: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence.

LONYAEGER: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Spittinfire passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?

Don't mess with Texas
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Old 12-18-2009, 06:02 PM   #29
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LMAO!!!! That is the best post of all time! Thanks for laugh slow. You may have just replaced benning as my hero.

I'm on step 2 and gave it a taste. Good stuff! I don't know if it's concidered blasphame in TX but I did add a few things we're used to having in our chili in this part of the country.
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Old 12-18-2009, 06:19 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lonyaeger View Post
Those big balls of foil in the smoker look delicious.

That's something I've always wanted to do, Troy, seriously. What do you have in there....brisket, shoulder?
We do brisket, ribs, sausage chicken and chili. But that's all brisket right there. That is actually the second half of the smoking process. 6 hours unwrapped, 6 hours wrapped. And plenty of time in the middle for enjoying a beverage or 7
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