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Old 06-30-2009, 08:35 PM   #11
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A blond woman was driving along the interstate in her Lexus, tooling along at about 80 MPH in a 65 MPH zone. She was stopped by a blond female state trooper.

"May I see your driver's license?" asks the trooper.

"Can you tell me what one looks like?" responds the driver.

"It's a rectangle with your picture on it, and is normally kept in your purse", says the trooper while rolling her eyes in disbelief.

After about 5 minutes of searching her purse, the driver says, "I think I found it" and handed it to the trooper.

After a brief examination, the trooper hands the driver back her makeup mirror and says; "Since you're a state trooper too, I'll just give you a warning."

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Old 06-30-2009, 08:55 PM   #12
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Blonde driving down a country road when she spots another blonde in the middle of a field rowing a boat. She pulls her car to the side of the road, gets out, and shouts, don't you know your giving us blondes a bad name and if I could swim I'd come out there and kick your a$$.

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Old 07-01-2009, 12:25 AM   #13
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On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, he asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."


lol


And I say this as a blonde myself

[although my hair has got much darker over the years, might be approaching honorary brunette status ]

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Old 07-01-2009, 12:35 AM   #14
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Alright this one is a bit corny so bear with me.

There are three girls in a camp, a blonde a brunette and a redhead. The redhead goes out hunting one day and comes back with a deer. The blonde asks "How'd you get the deer?" The redhead replies "followed the tracks, then boom shot the deer." The next day the brunette comes back and she has a deer. The blonde asks the same question and gets the same answer. So finally, the blonde goes out. She doesn't come back to camp. Later, the girls find her in a hospital. When they asked her what happened the blonde replied "I followed the tracks and boom, got hit by a train"

What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar?
Ow!

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Old 07-01-2009, 12:40 AM   #15
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one more


A wife and her blonde husband were trying to sleep, but the next door neighbor's dog was barking. This had been going on for months. Every night, the dog barked for hours, robbing them of sleep.

Finally, the blonde says, "I've had enough. I'm going to do something about this." So he gets up, puts on his robe and goes down stairs and out the back door. A little while later, he comes back.

"What did you do? The dog's still barking," asks the wife.

"I put the dog in our back yard. Let's see how they like it."

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Old 07-01-2009, 06:26 AM   #16
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What do you get when you turn a blonde on her head?



A brunett with bad breath.

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Old 07-01-2009, 07:00 AM   #17
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ROFL!!!!

A blonde was down at the river looking across at a party going on. She spots another blonde on the other side and hollers, "Hey! How do I get to the other side." The other blonde yells back, "You are!!"

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Old 07-02-2009, 04:53 PM   #18
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Default And still another blond joke...........

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if
he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How
much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she
would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does
she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all
those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

Later that day, the blond
came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blond replied, "and I even had paint left over, so I gave it
two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

"And by the way," the blond added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus!"

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Old 07-02-2009, 09:45 PM   #19
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What do you call eight blondes standing in a circle? Dope Ring!

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Old 07-02-2009, 11:33 PM   #20
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I'm impressed, there's a few here that I haven't heard. And as a blonde, I've heard a lot of blonde jokes.

Here's one of my favorites...

Q: How many blonde jokes are there?

A: One. The rest are all true stories.

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