Canoes and wild rivers
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > Canoes and wild rivers

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-15-2010, 04:39 AM   #1
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Denver,Colorado
Posts: 451
Liked 15 Times on 6 Posts

Default Canoes and wild rivers

Enjoying the outdoors isn't all hunting. Camping hiking and floating down rivers in a canoe all are enjoyable. This story is about a canoe trip in which I was carried out.
Linda and I plus our friends Nancy and Larry were canoeing down the White River in Missouri. We each had our own canoe and we each had identical white Ford Vans. We did a lot of things together, like good friends do.
Let me describe our friends Nancy and Larry.
Nancy worked at the same company as Linda and I did and my first encounter with her was frightening to say the least. I was working on a Saturday when the plant was shut down and only the office was open. Unfortunately you had to go through the plant to get to the office on the weekends.
As I was walking through the dark warehouse around the corner came a BIG shape. In the semi-dark it looked like I was going to be run down by a fork lift. I started, jumped and generally tried to get out of the aisle. Suddenly from the dark shape came words, "Hey you know how to find the stairwell?" My God it was a woman! And what a woman. 6'-0" tall and 200 lbs of beef. Not fat. She had shoulders on her that made me envious. Making the long story short she turned out to be a very gentle and nice lady and my wife and me soon become friends with her and her monster husband.
Larry was also 6'-0" and weighed in at 250 lbs. We always felt safe when we were with this couple.
So here we were going down the river on a lazy summer day. Ahh this is living. Lunch time and we pulled our canoes over to a gravel bar to eat.
Sitting in our lawn chairs eating sandwiches, with good company, it doesn't get any better.
But it could get worse and it did.
I was getting thirsty so I reached around in back of my chair to get a cold soda pop. I couldn't quite reach the pop as the lid opened away from me. So instead of getting up and going around and getting my pop dumb Sarge he tries to pick up the cooler full of pop and ice and bring it around in front of him.
Arggggg!
I pulled my back out of place, big time. I mean excruciating pain. Fall to the ground and moan pain.
Everyone jumps up and Nancy gets to me first. "Here" she said,"It is probably just pulled out of whack. I will put it back in for you." Now besides Nancy being 6'-0" tall and weighing 200 lbs she has uhh uhhh well a Holstein cow is small compared to Nancy's chest. She picks me up off the ground and grabs me around the waist, with her hands in the small of my back begins to jiggle me up and down. Kind of like a dog shaking a rat. And her uhhh chest keeps hitting me in the face. 1, 2 1, 2 1, 2. I am being beaten half to death by mammaries. And Larry is standing over there laughing his head off. He thought it was funny! My face is turning red and parts of me are falling off it feels like. After that treatment that seem to go on for hours finally Larry carries me to my canoe and lays me in the bottom. We set off for the takeout point as fast as we can.
We finally get out and Nancy picks me up and carries me to my Van and lays me down so gently on the back seat. She whispers, "It was fun wasn't it"
And here I am in mortal pain and trying to laugh. And it hurt to laugh. But laugh I did. That woman was a absolute nut. But she was a nice nut.
Sarge

__________________
sarge_257 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today - It's Free!

Are you a firearms enthusiast? Then we hope you will join the community. You will gain access to post, create threads, private message, upload images, join groups and more.

Firearms Talk is owned and operated by fellow firearms enthusiasts. We strive to offer a non-commercial community to learn and share information.

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today! - Click Here


Old 10-15-2010, 04:50 AM   #2
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
M14sRock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 5,539
Liked 33 Times on 23 Posts
Likes Given: 45

Default

Sarge, you gotta keep these stories coming. I love them. Thanks!

__________________
NRA-Life
CRPA-Life

SAF-Life
PEIAPOI


"Obama has ordered the launching of more Tomahawk cruise missiles than All the other Nobel Peace Prize winners combined."
M14sRock is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2010, 04:53 AM   #3
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
orangello's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 19,170
Liked 5733 Times on 3359 Posts
Likes Given: 4877

Default

Last time i went canoeing, we got pulled over, in the canoe. It made a funny story though, ~$600 and a one-armed deputy later.

__________________

Dead Bears, the only good kind.

orangello is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2010, 07:59 AM   #4
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Neophyte1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Charlotte,North Carolina
Posts: 407
Default Morning

sarge_257: Sir, it ''is'' the way "YOU" tell it Thanks for the morning smile

__________________

Craig

♥ Exercise daily - walk with the Lord!
.

Neophyte1 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2010, 03:13 AM   #5
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Denver,Colorado
Posts: 451
Liked 15 Times on 6 Posts

Default Pulled over?

Orange, tell us about it. This has got to be good.
Sarge

__________________
sarge_257 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 04:58 AM   #6
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Denver,Colorado
Posts: 451
Liked 15 Times on 6 Posts

Default Canoe trips

Quote:
Originally Posted by Neophyte1 View Post
sarge_257: Sir, it ''is'' the way "YOU" tell it Thanks for the morning smile
Thank you, I find that a few smiles can keep one healty and happy and is very contageous. Can I be serious? Yes and I may post some serious stories now and then. But mostly I try to find the happy things in life to write about.
Sarge
__________________
sarge_257 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 05:20 AM   #7
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Denver,Colorado
Posts: 451
Liked 15 Times on 6 Posts

Default Canoe trips

Quote:
Originally Posted by M14sRock View Post
Sarge, you gotta keep these stories coming. I love them. Thanks!
Thanks, you are tempting me to keep writing. LOL
Actually I belong to a Creative Writing club run by our local library. But before that I was writing short stories about my kids, my family and my main charactor "Sarge" I never liked writing about myself so I use Sarge as my subject. I have written over 200 short stories and 4 or 5 books. In my family we passed down to the next generation stories verbally. I remember when I was a young boy during holidays or after the fall harvest we would all gather our clan at one of our Uncle's farm and the women would head for the kitchen and the men to the front porch. There they would entertain and tease each other with stories about their youth and tales of our ancestors. Hardly any of the men folk in our family had much in the way of education. My Dad only went to 4th grade. But they had good memories and they could tell a story that had us kids on the edge or our chairs. My Generation was the first to be educated and most all of my siblings including myself have graduated from College. So I write and hope my kids will read and pass on the stories of our family and tales of our ancestors.
Sarge
__________________
sarge_257 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 01:49 PM   #8
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
BunnyWabbit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The Boonies,Kansas
Posts: 247
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts
Likes Given: 1

Default

I think all these need to be put in a sticky on the front page of this forum. Then we don't have to search everywhere for them. There are some here and some in the hunting section.

__________________
BunnyWabbit is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2010, 02:41 PM   #9
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Jo da Plumbr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 4,754
Liked 11 Times on 9 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BunnyWabbit View Post
I think all these need to be put in a sticky on the front page of this forum. Then we don't have to search everywhere for them. There are some here and some in the hunting section.
BW you can click on Sarge's name and a drop down menu will appear. Click the option to find other posts by Sarge. That is how I keep up with all the stories.

Thanks for sharing them with your FTF family Sarge..
__________________
Quote:

"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors."

Jo da Plumbr is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2010, 02:48 PM   #10
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
amoroque's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Monte Vista,CO
Posts: 1,231
Liked 2 Times on 1 Posts

Default

Keep em coming Sarge! That was great!

__________________

It's like paradise on Earth, enriched with the ever so sweet nectar of
elk urine.

When you're out there by yourself, you become who you really are.

amoroque is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Wild Hog in TX lukeisme Hunting Forum 13 10-09-2010 05:05 AM
Man Woman Wild cpttango30 The Club House 0 07-08-2010 06:28 PM
Wild Weather #2 zhuk The Club House 0 06-02-2010 03:08 AM
Man Vs Wild zhuk The Club House 10 03-10-2010 12:54 AM
Wild dog hunting lonyaeger The Club House 14 01-15-2010 12:13 AM