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sarge_257 10-15-2010 04:39 AM

Canoes and wild rivers
Enjoying the outdoors isn't all hunting. Camping hiking and floating down rivers in a canoe all are enjoyable. This story is about a canoe trip in which I was carried out.
Linda and I plus our friends Nancy and Larry were canoeing down the White River in Missouri. We each had our own canoe and we each had identical white Ford Vans. We did a lot of things together, like good friends do.
Let me describe our friends Nancy and Larry.
Nancy worked at the same company as Linda and I did and my first encounter with her was frightening to say the least. I was working on a Saturday when the plant was shut down and only the office was open. Unfortunately you had to go through the plant to get to the office on the weekends.
As I was walking through the dark warehouse around the corner came a BIG shape. In the semi-dark it looked like I was going to be run down by a fork lift. I started, jumped and generally tried to get out of the aisle. Suddenly from the dark shape came words, "Hey you know how to find the stairwell?" My God it was a woman! And what a woman. 6'-0" tall and 200 lbs of beef. Not fat. She had shoulders on her that made me envious. Making the long story short she turned out to be a very gentle and nice lady and my wife and me soon become friends with her and her monster husband.
Larry was also 6'-0" and weighed in at 250 lbs. We always felt safe when we were with this couple.
So here we were going down the river on a lazy summer day. Ahh this is living. Lunch time and we pulled our canoes over to a gravel bar to eat.
Sitting in our lawn chairs eating sandwiches, with good company, it doesn't get any better.
But it could get worse and it did.
I was getting thirsty so I reached around in back of my chair to get a cold soda pop. I couldn't quite reach the pop as the lid opened away from me. So instead of getting up and going around and getting my pop dumb Sarge he tries to pick up the cooler full of pop and ice and bring it around in front of him.
I pulled my back out of place, big time. I mean excruciating pain. Fall to the ground and moan pain.
Everyone jumps up and Nancy gets to me first. "Here" she said,"It is probably just pulled out of whack. I will put it back in for you." Now besides Nancy being 6'-0" tall and weighing 200 lbs she has uhh uhhh well a Holstein cow is small compared to Nancy's chest. She picks me up off the ground and grabs me around the waist, with her hands in the small of my back begins to jiggle me up and down. Kind of like a dog shaking a rat. And her uhhh chest keeps hitting me in the face. 1, 2 1, 2 1, 2. I am being beaten half to death by mammaries. And Larry is standing over there laughing his head off. He thought it was funny! My face is turning red and parts of me are falling off it feels like. After that treatment that seem to go on for hours finally Larry carries me to my canoe and lays me in the bottom. We set off for the takeout point as fast as we can.
We finally get out and Nancy picks me up and carries me to my Van and lays me down so gently on the back seat. She whispers, "It was fun wasn't it"
And here I am in mortal pain and trying to laugh. And it hurt to laugh. But laugh I did. That woman was a absolute nut. But she was a nice nut.

M14sRock 10-15-2010 04:50 AM

Sarge, you gotta keep these stories coming. I love them. Thanks!

orangello 10-15-2010 04:53 AM

Last time i went canoeing, we got pulled over, in the canoe. It made a funny story though, ~$600 and a one-armed deputy later.

Neophyte1 10-15-2010 07:59 AM

sarge_257: Sir, it ''is'' the way "YOU" tell it:) Thanks for the morning smile:)

sarge_257 10-17-2010 03:13 AM

Pulled over?
Orange, tell us about it. This has got to be good.

sarge_257 10-18-2010 04:58 AM

Canoe trips

Originally Posted by Neophyte1 (Post 368721)
sarge_257: Sir, it ''is'' the way "YOU" tell it:) Thanks for the morning smile:)

Thank you, I find that a few smiles can keep one healty and happy and is very contageous. Can I be serious? Yes and I may post some serious stories now and then. But mostly I try to find the happy things in life to write about.

sarge_257 10-18-2010 05:20 AM

Canoe trips

Originally Posted by M14sRock (Post 368678)
Sarge, you gotta keep these stories coming. I love them. Thanks!

Thanks, you are tempting me to keep writing. LOL
Actually I belong to a Creative Writing club run by our local library. But before that I was writing short stories about my kids, my family and my main charactor "Sarge" I never liked writing about myself so I use Sarge as my subject. I have written over 200 short stories and 4 or 5 books. In my family we passed down to the next generation stories verbally. I remember when I was a young boy during holidays or after the fall harvest we would all gather our clan at one of our Uncle's farm and the women would head for the kitchen and the men to the front porch. There they would entertain and tease each other with stories about their youth and tales of our ancestors. Hardly any of the men folk in our family had much in the way of education. My Dad only went to 4th grade. But they had good memories and they could tell a story that had us kids on the edge or our chairs. My Generation was the first to be educated and most all of my siblings including myself have graduated from College. So I write and hope my kids will read and pass on the stories of our family and tales of our ancestors.

BunnyWabbit 10-18-2010 01:49 PM

I think all these need to be put in a sticky on the front page of this forum. Then we don't have to search everywhere for them. There are some here and some in the hunting section.

Jo da Plumbr 10-19-2010 02:41 PM


Originally Posted by BunnyWabbit (Post 370085)
I think all these need to be put in a sticky on the front page of this forum. Then we don't have to search everywhere for them. There are some here and some in the hunting section.

BW you can click on Sarge's name and a drop down menu will appear. Click the option to find other posts by Sarge. That is how I keep up with all the stories.

Thanks for sharing them with your FTF family Sarge..

amoroque 10-19-2010 02:48 PM

Keep em coming Sarge! That was great!

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