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Old 05-17-2013, 01:17 AM   #21
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Yes, it says to use the Indiana parenting guidelines.
Which are?

And that's a problem. At the very least, you should be able to get a judge to lay it out, word for word, exactly how visitation is to be managed.
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:17 AM   #22
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I can't forget that the girl is in the middle of all this. Be careful with the Solomon-like recommendations!

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Old 05-17-2013, 01:18 AM   #23
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Tell her to pound sand.

First, I'm guessing that the ex is the "custodial parent". As such, usually the custodial parent is given the 1st right to determine religious upbringing. You also mentioned your agreement with said ex regarding this issue concerning pants and such. Now I'm no lawyer (always gotta say that it seems) but, it's my opinion that it would be tough to persuade any judge that your visitation rights should be curtailed. First, the burden of proof is on her. Doesn't seem like much to argue as your daughter wanted to wear the pants and under the agreement you mentioned all is well considering (unless I'm missing something). Secondly, most courts involving family matters have one mission and thats the well being of the child, parents be damned! If the parents religious differences come into play, the court will again decide "what's best for the child" religion be damned! Its generally agreed that visitation may not be restricted or eliminated unless the court finds that the visitation would endanger (seriously) the child's physical, mental, moral, and emotional health, and yes this is without regard to the interest of the custodial parent in determining religious upbringing. Now I'm not saying this is nothing to worry about of course, but she'd be fighting a huge uphill slope! Take note, most laws and statues regarding children of divorce are formed to provide a shield for the child, not a sword for the parents...

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Old 05-17-2013, 01:20 AM   #24
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Blackmail!? Not.

Do what your ex wife wants. That's where she lives. What religion doesn't allow shorts and slacks for women nor cutting hair? There's a God that requires this of the pious!?

If truly concerned and this is a cult you may need custody. But unless you're willing to go down that path, don't make it your daughter's problem; you deal with it yourself. Oh, by the way, she loves you but she WILL inevitably rat you out so don't be sneaky!!!
This has many signs of a leadership cult - may look holy from the outside but usually based on distortions and misinterpret ions of the Bible to fit the "leaders" by behavior control. The leaders set the rules for behavior. Anyone who openly disagrees in ousted and shunned. A bad place to raise a child. Many lack only the Kool-Aid.
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:21 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by trip286

Which are?

And that's a problem. At the very least, you should be able to get a judge to lay it out, word for word, exactly how visitation is to be managed.
The decree and mediation papers state our amount of overnights and the Indiana guidelines say every other weekend and one day during the week.
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:25 AM   #26
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Yes, it says to use the Indiana parenting guidelines.
if you read through it you will see she can not with hold your child.from the little bit im reading she is not incompliance with the guidlines.
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:28 AM   #27
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if you read through it you will see she can not with hold your child.from the little bit im reading she is not incompliance with the guidlines.
We were told from a detective in the town that if we called the police that all they can do is file a report which we would have to take to a lawyer. Once the lawyer takes that to a judge and gets an order from the judge saying she's in contempt, then the police could intervene. In the interim, we can't do a thing. It sucks.
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:33 AM   #28
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Fathead,

In addition, I would be sure to keep all correspondence as well as tape record every conversation with your X! Pretty hard to deny what is said in court if it is recorded. Those units can be purchased at Radio Shack and other places and I believe some cell phones have that option? Or I would just not answer her calls unless she called me in the evening on the home phone. But I would probably get with an attorney who specializes in family law and schedule a court hearing in advance of any action by her where she would have to appear before a judge on the past court agreement and future issues. I am not at all against religion and our God but that is ridiculous. And anyone who thinks that because you wear pants, shorts or cut your hair or has a drink moderately is not going to Heaven, in my opinion has some serious issues and may be very surprised when it comes to how pious or holy they really are! I think some of them who spend their life judging others and serve God out of a Guilt Trip as some denominations attempt to do have a big surprise coming. But you can not do anything to change that! But keep your daughter's interest in mind and be cool about everything that comes up. Remember you are her Dad and she loves you! She will no matter what happens see the truth in time as I experienced. She will sees the complete truth and will respond to the parent who handles the situation, is in control, protects their feelings and is always truthful! I lost my kids for four years during a 5 year divorce proceeding but they cam back and love their Dad just as much today if not more. Was it a hard time! You bet! But I never condemned their mother or said anything bad in front of them. Until they were grown and came to me one day and asked me Dad what really all happened? Then and even then I did not tell all in order to protect them and their feelings. But did tell the story!
God Blessed Me and I Won in the end! Now I have 7 Grandchildren and 1 Great Grand Son. Got started early in life!

I wish you luck with the situation. Keep us informed. Prayers sent your way!

03

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Old 05-17-2013, 01:35 AM   #29
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wow that does suck here in california they go by the court order if there is none they will use there better judgement in our case niether one of us are the parents but we now have guardianship so theres no questions we have control.but up to that point we have had our niece for five years and they removed her from our house becuase the mothere wanted her so c.p.s. said take her.we now have her though.i would report her for her noncompliace and ask for sanctions,or wait till you have her in your custody than make your reports and ask for a judge to review your parental guidelines.and good luck.

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Old 05-17-2013, 01:39 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by HockaLouis

Wow. That's just insane. How was that justified!?
My daughter and I use to wrestle "ALL" the time, she loved it, so did I. I would take her hunting with me, and she would be right by my side if I was skinning a deer or turkey. My ex, being very manipulative, talked bad about me to her, making her believe I was abusive. "Swatted" her butt maybe twice her whole life! My lawyer was a friend who sucked, and sucked my wallet dry. My ex claimed abuse to my daughter, I forced her to kill defenseless animals, i beat her and left bruises on her all the time, I beat my ex all the time...... All untrue!!!!!! My daughter being 11 at the time, did testify that She didnt want to visit me, but she was very manipulated, and my ex was such the victim.
My daughter might come around eventually, and she will realize how wrong her mother was. Until then, I have a loving wife and 3 young step daughters who love me and love to wrestle, and 1 one of them love to go turkey hunting with me!
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